For awhile now I have been waiting to be sent out to the mission field. It's not that I am refusing to accept my time here in Hong Kong, but I also know that there's more in store for me... and that Hong Kong is not it for me. My circumstances in Hong Kong at the moment had gotten me to the place where I simply became impatient. I was so frustrated with everything I see in front of me that I did want to run away from here. To get away from the things that make me angry, the things that make me upset, the things that I simply could not stand anymore.
In the midst of all that, God finally gave me a glimpse of hope. Finally an understanding of perhaps why has is keeping me in Hong Kong at this time. Another step towards the destiny that God has called me into... Right now I don't know if this is the reason or not, but all I can do is follow obediently. If the door slams in my face again, I will cry for awhile and then I will get up and keep following. I know that what God has called me to do will not be easy, nor did I sign up for an easy path ahead, so I will shake myself off and continue to follow my God down the hard and narrow road.
I spent my weekend at the Women on the Frontlines conference. Where the speakers were Heidi Baker, Patricia King and Stacy Campbell. Three women who are doing God's work on the frontlines. I know one day, I too will get to see the things that they shared about, that I too will have my time when I get to go out to the frontlines and see with my own eyes. Until then, God has said be patient. He hasn't forgotten, but the time has not come yet. "Be patient and obedient with what I HAVE placed in front of you and let me take care of the rest" says God. So right now all I can do is be patient... not something I am good at, but by His love and grace I will do my best.
18 Sept 2012
15 Sept 2012
Early Friday Mornings...
God: Why are you asking for a message in the sky?
Me: Because I want you to confirm things.
God: But you already heard me in the still small voice.
Me: Oh... but...
God: What other way are you expecting me to speak?
Me: I said message in the sky?
God: Do you need to go and read about Elijah again?
Me: No... point taken. You win... again. I'll make things happen.
Me: Because I want you to confirm things.
God: But you already heard me in the still small voice.
Me: Oh... but...
God: What other way are you expecting me to speak?
Me: I said message in the sky?
God: Do you need to go and read about Elijah again?
Me: No... point taken. You win... again. I'll make things happen.
12 Sept 2012
I don't know I'm beautiful...
The simple truth at the moment... I don't believe what God has spoken... and you know how he got my attention? Through a One Direction song...
"If only you saw what I can see"... God says it to me so many times.... those were the words of Karla from 2010 as well. "If you could only see what I'm seeing!" God wants me, He has orchestrated every single detail of my life as it is at this moment because there is one thing that he really wants me to do... you could even say "one direction" in which he wants me to go in... hahaha...
It's hard for me... for as long as I can remember, I've been told that I'm fat... that I'm ugly... that I'm average... but do you know that God is telling me that I'm stunning? That I have the power to light up a whole room. That I am so incredibly beautiful. These are the things that God says to me... and I still haven't reached that place where I can see nor understand those words. Those words still have not been able to take root in my heart... and be lived out....
"If only you saw what I can see"... God says it to me so many times.... those were the words of Karla from 2010 as well. "If you could only see what I'm seeing!" God wants me, He has orchestrated every single detail of my life as it is at this moment because there is one thing that he really wants me to do... you could even say "one direction" in which he wants me to go in... hahaha...
It's hard for me... for as long as I can remember, I've been told that I'm fat... that I'm ugly... that I'm average... but do you know that God is telling me that I'm stunning? That I have the power to light up a whole room. That I am so incredibly beautiful. These are the things that God says to me... and I still haven't reached that place where I can see nor understand those words. Those words still have not been able to take root in my heart... and be lived out....
8 Sept 2012
Frustrations...
I was thinking about how lucky I am to have grown up in North America today... and especially to have grown up in Alberta... and even Edmonton at that. Somehow that upbringing puts division between other Hong Kong people and myself. This, I hate. I dislike that some look to me in admiration thinking that I am of a different social class because I had the good fortune to grow up overseas and am fluent in English. Then there is the group of the opposite who seem to look at with scorn because of my western background and treat me like I'm a horrible person out to make them look bad. To be very honest, this is one reason why I don't want to work in a local setting.
That's not what got me to start thinking though. I was thinking about this because I was asked about career planning today. It breaks my heart that 17, 18 year old young people feel the pressure to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives. I remember being their age and being completely lost and not really knowing what I wanted out of life. I had this crazy dream of becoming a pediatrician, which quickly faded when my marks in life sciences related courses were so bad! But regardless, that was what university was for... exploration! I had the freedom to go from dreaming of a career as a doctor, then in neuroscience, then forensics, then actuarial sciences... and at the end of it came out of university with a bachelor of science in mathematics and mathematical sciences. Which followed with my starting work in banking... and x number of years later, here I am unemployed and studying my masters in social work! What a journey it has been!
Then again... before even getting there, I had the freedom to apply for universities as I pleased. There was never a real fear that I wouldn't get into ANY university... I don't understand Hong Kong's students fear of not being able to fight for a spot in the universities in Hong Kong. If you were an honours student... you were most likely gonna get in. Then again, there was no perception that if you didn't get into university, you'd be a failure. The stigma of going in a trade... or community college is not has bad as it is here in Hong Kong. I had okay marks, and had the freedom of applying to any university within Canada... and even wrote my SATs so that I could apply for schools in the US... but that's a whole 'nother story.
It just breaks my heart that these young people are so anxious and stressed out about this. That they're so worried about filling in their university application wrong and making a mistake that will affect them for the rest of their lives. That is some crazy pressure! There seems to be no flexibility. Perhaps, it's also because I come from parents who either a) didn't get to go to university or b) went to university but decided to change career paths after working in that field... so I have the fortune of having parents who have given me a lot of freedom to make decisions and change my mind.
Sure... I had friends who knew what they wanted to do at the age of 14... but they were few and rare. Most of them were just as lost and confused as I was. I wish I could tell them to just pursue the things on their hearts... but I'm afraid of getting angry phone calls from various parents complaining about "bad" advice I was giving to their children. *sigh* We'll see... I'm just gonna trust that God will give me the right words to share when I talk to these kids.
On other things... my dream is so close. It's actually within grasp... but I believe I am the one who needs to step out to open the door to reach for it. Right now I'm just starring at the door and wondering if I even want to walk through it... if that door is even suppose to be for me. Everything that I had been walking towards... well... the ONE thing that I was walking towards since I took that plunge into the raging waterfalls with God back in 2009... it's so close. It wasn't what I thought it would look like, but it's pretty darn crazy... and it's exactly one of the things which have been on my heart! Now if only I had the courage to take that step out...
That's not what got me to start thinking though. I was thinking about this because I was asked about career planning today. It breaks my heart that 17, 18 year old young people feel the pressure to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives. I remember being their age and being completely lost and not really knowing what I wanted out of life. I had this crazy dream of becoming a pediatrician, which quickly faded when my marks in life sciences related courses were so bad! But regardless, that was what university was for... exploration! I had the freedom to go from dreaming of a career as a doctor, then in neuroscience, then forensics, then actuarial sciences... and at the end of it came out of university with a bachelor of science in mathematics and mathematical sciences. Which followed with my starting work in banking... and x number of years later, here I am unemployed and studying my masters in social work! What a journey it has been!
Then again... before even getting there, I had the freedom to apply for universities as I pleased. There was never a real fear that I wouldn't get into ANY university... I don't understand Hong Kong's students fear of not being able to fight for a spot in the universities in Hong Kong. If you were an honours student... you were most likely gonna get in. Then again, there was no perception that if you didn't get into university, you'd be a failure. The stigma of going in a trade... or community college is not has bad as it is here in Hong Kong. I had okay marks, and had the freedom of applying to any university within Canada... and even wrote my SATs so that I could apply for schools in the US... but that's a whole 'nother story.
It just breaks my heart that these young people are so anxious and stressed out about this. That they're so worried about filling in their university application wrong and making a mistake that will affect them for the rest of their lives. That is some crazy pressure! There seems to be no flexibility. Perhaps, it's also because I come from parents who either a) didn't get to go to university or b) went to university but decided to change career paths after working in that field... so I have the fortune of having parents who have given me a lot of freedom to make decisions and change my mind.
Sure... I had friends who knew what they wanted to do at the age of 14... but they were few and rare. Most of them were just as lost and confused as I was. I wish I could tell them to just pursue the things on their hearts... but I'm afraid of getting angry phone calls from various parents complaining about "bad" advice I was giving to their children. *sigh* We'll see... I'm just gonna trust that God will give me the right words to share when I talk to these kids.
On other things... my dream is so close. It's actually within grasp... but I believe I am the one who needs to step out to open the door to reach for it. Right now I'm just starring at the door and wondering if I even want to walk through it... if that door is even suppose to be for me. Everything that I had been walking towards... well... the ONE thing that I was walking towards since I took that plunge into the raging waterfalls with God back in 2009... it's so close. It wasn't what I thought it would look like, but it's pretty darn crazy... and it's exactly one of the things which have been on my heart! Now if only I had the courage to take that step out...
20 Aug 2012
You Obey the One You Fear
Reposted from Desiring God website... an awakening call regarding insecurities...
You Obey the One You Fear:
At the root of insecurity — the anxiety over how others think of us — is pride. This pride is an excessive desire for others to see us as impressive and admirable. Insecurity is the fear that they won’t, but instead they will see us as deficient. As King Saul1 shows us, it’s a dangerous fear because insecurity can lead to great disobedience.
Samuel’s heart was broken and heavy as he neared Saul’s camp at Gilgal. Israel’s first king had failed so soon and so seriously.
And Samuel was tired. He’d been up all night prayerfully mourning the Lord’s words, “I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments.”
And he was angry. The Lord had already severely disciplined Saul for officiating the burnt offering2 when he knew it transgressed the Law. But God had been gracious in giving him another chance by sending him to carry out judgment on the Amalekites. The instructions could not have been clearer. They had not been obeyed.
The old prophet trembled at the word he must deliver to an armed king who feared public humiliation more than the Holy One.
Saul was all smiles when he saw Samuel. “Blessed be you to the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord.”
Samuel had to bite his tongue. “What then is this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the lowing of the oxen that I hear?”
Saul felt immediately exposed. Alone he had figured that fudging some on the instructions really wouldn’t matter. But now he knew he had gravely presumed. He fumbled for words. “They have brought them from the Amalekites, for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen to sacrifice to the Lord your God, and the rest we have devoted to destruction.”
This was a smoke screen. “Stop!” Samuel cried. He could not bear Saul trying to cover disobedience with cosmetic righteousness. Nor his cowardly hiding behind the people. “I will tell you what the Lord said to me this night.”
Saul was defensive in his guilt. “Speak,” he said with a bravado disguise.
“Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you king over Israel. And the Lord sent you on a mission and said, ‘Go, devote to destruction the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed.’ Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord?”
Then looking over at the plump livestock, the price of Saul’s kingdom, Samuel said, “Why did you pounce on the spoil and do what was evil in the sight of the Lord?”
Saul was defiant in his denial. “I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. I have gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me. I have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and I have devoted the Amalekites to destruction. But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.”
Samuel just hung his head in disappointment. And he shook it with a subtleness that stung Saul as much as anything the prophet had said…yet.
With teary eyes on the ground, Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry.”
Samuel then paused and caught his breath. Slowly he looked up into Saul’s guilt-shy eyes. “Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has also rejected you from being king.”
Saul nervously glanced at the wordless watching men around him. He was sweating. “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.”
Saul is a sober reminder to us that we obey the one we fear. He feared the people — he loved his reputation — and despised God. Being little in our own eyes can be either righteous or ruinous. It’s righteous if we see God as big and us as small. This actually frees us from fear. But it’s ruinous if the approval of man is what’s big to us because it always leads to disobeying God.
When we fail in this area, and all of us do at some point, God calls us not to remorse but to repentance. Saul was remorseful, but not repentant. He pursued the god of his own glory over the God who gave him that glory right to his death on Mount Gilboa. And he became lethally paranoid with insecurity.
So let us repent of our insecurities and say with Peter and the disciples, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). For the wise and humble “fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28).
Previous posts from Jon Bloom:
You Obey the One You Fear:
At the root of insecurity — the anxiety over how others think of us — is pride. This pride is an excessive desire for others to see us as impressive and admirable. Insecurity is the fear that they won’t, but instead they will see us as deficient. As King Saul1 shows us, it’s a dangerous fear because insecurity can lead to great disobedience.
Samuel’s heart was broken and heavy as he neared Saul’s camp at Gilgal. Israel’s first king had failed so soon and so seriously.
And Samuel was tired. He’d been up all night prayerfully mourning the Lord’s words, “I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments.”
And he was angry. The Lord had already severely disciplined Saul for officiating the burnt offering2 when he knew it transgressed the Law. But God had been gracious in giving him another chance by sending him to carry out judgment on the Amalekites. The instructions could not have been clearer. They had not been obeyed.
The old prophet trembled at the word he must deliver to an armed king who feared public humiliation more than the Holy One.
Saul was all smiles when he saw Samuel. “Blessed be you to the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord.”
Samuel had to bite his tongue. “What then is this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the lowing of the oxen that I hear?”
Saul felt immediately exposed. Alone he had figured that fudging some on the instructions really wouldn’t matter. But now he knew he had gravely presumed. He fumbled for words. “They have brought them from the Amalekites, for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen to sacrifice to the Lord your God, and the rest we have devoted to destruction.”
This was a smoke screen. “Stop!” Samuel cried. He could not bear Saul trying to cover disobedience with cosmetic righteousness. Nor his cowardly hiding behind the people. “I will tell you what the Lord said to me this night.”
Saul was defensive in his guilt. “Speak,” he said with a bravado disguise.
“Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you king over Israel. And the Lord sent you on a mission and said, ‘Go, devote to destruction the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed.’ Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord?”
Then looking over at the plump livestock, the price of Saul’s kingdom, Samuel said, “Why did you pounce on the spoil and do what was evil in the sight of the Lord?”
Saul was defiant in his denial. “I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. I have gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me. I have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and I have devoted the Amalekites to destruction. But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.”
Samuel just hung his head in disappointment. And he shook it with a subtleness that stung Saul as much as anything the prophet had said…yet.
With teary eyes on the ground, Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry.”
Samuel then paused and caught his breath. Slowly he looked up into Saul’s guilt-shy eyes. “Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has also rejected you from being king.”
Saul nervously glanced at the wordless watching men around him. He was sweating. “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.”
Saul is a sober reminder to us that we obey the one we fear. He feared the people — he loved his reputation — and despised God. Being little in our own eyes can be either righteous or ruinous. It’s righteous if we see God as big and us as small. This actually frees us from fear. But it’s ruinous if the approval of man is what’s big to us because it always leads to disobeying God.
When we fail in this area, and all of us do at some point, God calls us not to remorse but to repentance. Saul was remorseful, but not repentant. He pursued the god of his own glory over the God who gave him that glory right to his death on Mount Gilboa. And he became lethally paranoid with insecurity.
So let us repent of our insecurities and say with Peter and the disciples, “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). For the wise and humble “fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28).
1This meditation is taken from 1 Samuel 15.
21 Samuel 13:8-14
Previous posts from Jon Bloom:
- Fight the Poverty of Attention
- Your Emotions Are a Gauge, Not a Guide
- When You're in a Spiritual Storm, Trust Your Instruments
24 Jul 2012
Journal Entries... 3
Hmmm... it has been awhile since I've done a blog entry... and even longer since I've done an old journal entry. So, I've decided to do an old journal entry, this one is circa February 2010.
It is easy to love someone and believe in someone when you can see them. When they are a tangible presence in your life, it is easy to care about them. Just like it is easy to thank God and praise God when all of His blessings in our lives are visible to us. When we cannot see His blessings, it gets harder to trust and believe that God is good and that He loves us.
"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory." ~ 1 Peter 1:8
It is easy to love someone and believe in someone when you can see them. When they are a tangible presence in your life, it is easy to care about them. Just like it is easy to thank God and praise God when all of His blessings in our lives are visible to us. When we cannot see His blessings, it gets harder to trust and believe that God is good and that He loves us.
17 Jul 2012
On Breaking Up... Part 2
So... over a year ago, I had posted a post on breaking up... here.
And here we are... at my second post about this. I guess I've finally decided to write another post about it because... well... I've been asked about it so many times in the past 2 months. I kid you not... the amount of people I have talked to about breaking up... and heartbreak is too much... that MY heart is starting to feel like it's just been broken all over again. My heart goes out to anyone who has had their heart broken recently! I know it sucks, but persevere through it, I promise... well, not so much just me, but even more so, GOD promises that there's light at the end of what seems like a dark dark tunnel!
So in my last breaking up post, I wrote about one of the most common questions, which was "Do you ever stop loving that person?" Today, I want to write about what I have decided to deem the most common statement! "I don't want him/her to get over this first." Well.. some form of that statement.
Let's be honest, we've all said that in breaking up... at some point in the grieving process. Whether in self-pity or anger at the other person for leaving us here in the pit of heartbreak. I know I have said it... more than once... in the past year or so. Maybe not in quite as colourful language as I had in my first heartbreak... but more or less... the statement was proclaimed.
So going on my theme of taking the higher road... I'm going to throw it out there and say that this thinking is WRONG! I am convicting myself as much as I am talking to the rest of you who are in a competition with your ex to "be the first" to be over the other. Let's get over ourselves already! The getting over process is NOT a competition between you and the ex... it is a process that involves God and you... and maybe people keeping you accountable. The less you know of how the other person is doing... the better. Unless you can hear about how they're doing and be genuinely happy about it...STOP FACEBOOK STALKING THEM! You're honestly just making life worse for yourself.
Remember that God called us to love our enemies? The above isn't just a calling for people we love... to not be upset with them... or people we like having in our lives. This is a calling for those who have hurt us and upset us as well. There's no "BUT" in the above statement... that says "BUT if that guy/girl broke your heart, it's okay to hold unforgiveness in your heart." I've checked throughout the whole Bible... it's NOT in there. Sorry... as much we'd all like that passage to be in there... it's just not.
I know what I'm proposing is not the easiest thing to live out... and I too am figuring out what that looks like. I am not claiming to have this whole breaking-up thing all figured out... but I also know that my God asks of me will always leave me with the least amount of regrets at the end of the day. He has never let me down in the area... ever! If God can bring reconciliation with THE ex... I trust that God can reconcile us to anyone in our lives. Actually scrap that statement! If GOD can reconcile US to HIM... He can reconcile us to anyone!
I believe that it is so selfish to proclaim that we don't want the other person to be "better" first. In wishing such things, I no longer live as Christ wishes me to live. I am living by the flesh... and therefore I am choosing to put those thoughts to death in me. I wouldn't want someone else to be wishing death upon me either... that's horrible! Do you want your ex to wish that you stayed miserable until you felt better?! Think about that!
Choose life... choose God... it's hard, but I challenge you to try! When all you wanna curse... life that person up in prayer... and see the work that God does in YOU! Release yourself from the other person... let them be... and allow God to love on YOU!
That's my 2 cents... hahaha... you can disagree with me if you want... but I stand by what I believe about breaking up! It's what God told me. :)
And here we are... at my second post about this. I guess I've finally decided to write another post about it because... well... I've been asked about it so many times in the past 2 months. I kid you not... the amount of people I have talked to about breaking up... and heartbreak is too much... that MY heart is starting to feel like it's just been broken all over again. My heart goes out to anyone who has had their heart broken recently! I know it sucks, but persevere through it, I promise... well, not so much just me, but even more so, GOD promises that there's light at the end of what seems like a dark dark tunnel!
So in my last breaking up post, I wrote about one of the most common questions, which was "Do you ever stop loving that person?" Today, I want to write about what I have decided to deem the most common statement! "I don't want him/her to get over this first." Well.. some form of that statement.
Let's be honest, we've all said that in breaking up... at some point in the grieving process. Whether in self-pity or anger at the other person for leaving us here in the pit of heartbreak. I know I have said it... more than once... in the past year or so. Maybe not in quite as colourful language as I had in my first heartbreak... but more or less... the statement was proclaimed.
So going on my theme of taking the higher road... I'm going to throw it out there and say that this thinking is WRONG! I am convicting myself as much as I am talking to the rest of you who are in a competition with your ex to "be the first" to be over the other. Let's get over ourselves already! The getting over process is NOT a competition between you and the ex... it is a process that involves God and you... and maybe people keeping you accountable. The less you know of how the other person is doing... the better. Unless you can hear about how they're doing and be genuinely happy about it...STOP FACEBOOK STALKING THEM! You're honestly just making life worse for yourself.
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you." ~ Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV)
Remember that God called us to love our enemies? The above isn't just a calling for people we love... to not be upset with them... or people we like having in our lives. This is a calling for those who have hurt us and upset us as well. There's no "BUT" in the above statement... that says "BUT if that guy/girl broke your heart, it's okay to hold unforgiveness in your heart." I've checked throughout the whole Bible... it's NOT in there. Sorry... as much we'd all like that passage to be in there... it's just not.
I know what I'm proposing is not the easiest thing to live out... and I too am figuring out what that looks like. I am not claiming to have this whole breaking-up thing all figured out... but I also know that my God asks of me will always leave me with the least amount of regrets at the end of the day. He has never let me down in the area... ever! If God can bring reconciliation with THE ex... I trust that God can reconcile us to anyone in our lives. Actually scrap that statement! If GOD can reconcile US to HIM... He can reconcile us to anyone!
"All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 (ESV)
I believe that it is so selfish to proclaim that we don't want the other person to be "better" first. In wishing such things, I no longer live as Christ wishes me to live. I am living by the flesh... and therefore I am choosing to put those thoughts to death in me. I wouldn't want someone else to be wishing death upon me either... that's horrible! Do you want your ex to wish that you stayed miserable until you felt better?! Think about that!
Choose life... choose God... it's hard, but I challenge you to try! When all you wanna curse... life that person up in prayer... and see the work that God does in YOU! Release yourself from the other person... let them be... and allow God to love on YOU!
That's my 2 cents... hahaha... you can disagree with me if you want... but I stand by what I believe about breaking up! It's what God told me. :)
9 Jul 2012
Monday (not so Morning) Musings..
So... it's been awhile since I've done a Monday Morning Musings entry... but thought I would sit down and give it a go today. :)
This is one of my favourite passages, and part of Justin's message from Saturday. :) Nothing is as nourishing and encouraging to the soul as when He confirms the things that He shares through those around you!
Other than that... more so than Justin's message for community, this passage is my heart for what it means to be a family of God. This is so central to being different from the world and society around us. For me, this is what makes reconciliation within the community possible... and also why even though it is hard, it is a must in the family.
I'm learning to see how much of an idealist I am, but my desire is not to make life difficult for everyone. I know this is hard to live out... I struggle with it on a daily basis, but this is the lifestyle that God has challenged me with. Because through this... we get to experience Heaven on earth.
I'll be honest, lately my desire to live out this verse... and to encourage it has been wavering. I have seen so much pain... so much hurt... hurts that warrant revenge more so than forgiveness and reconciliation. Pain that tugs at my heart to demand that justice be done for my sisters in Christ... but this past weekend God reminded me that is not His way.
Right now, I don't know how this works. How do you encourage forgiveness when someone is so obviously hurting so badly? At the moment, I am at a lost... I know only to pray. I am waiting on God for His plan. At the moment, all I know is that when we lay down our lives, our pride... God comes through and changes things in the Spiritual which will overflow in the physical. What seems impossible to the world is completely possible with God... and with that in mind... I will continue to push into this. I want people to know what we can't settle for what is acceptable and expected by the rest of the world.. that they can want more, and that God will allow them to reach the more only if they allow Him!
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." ~ John 13:34-35
This is one of my favourite passages, and part of Justin's message from Saturday. :) Nothing is as nourishing and encouraging to the soul as when He confirms the things that He shares through those around you!
Other than that... more so than Justin's message for community, this passage is my heart for what it means to be a family of God. This is so central to being different from the world and society around us. For me, this is what makes reconciliation within the community possible... and also why even though it is hard, it is a must in the family.
I'm learning to see how much of an idealist I am, but my desire is not to make life difficult for everyone. I know this is hard to live out... I struggle with it on a daily basis, but this is the lifestyle that God has challenged me with. Because through this... we get to experience Heaven on earth.
I'll be honest, lately my desire to live out this verse... and to encourage it has been wavering. I have seen so much pain... so much hurt... hurts that warrant revenge more so than forgiveness and reconciliation. Pain that tugs at my heart to demand that justice be done for my sisters in Christ... but this past weekend God reminded me that is not His way.
Right now, I don't know how this works. How do you encourage forgiveness when someone is so obviously hurting so badly? At the moment, I am at a lost... I know only to pray. I am waiting on God for His plan. At the moment, all I know is that when we lay down our lives, our pride... God comes through and changes things in the Spiritual which will overflow in the physical. What seems impossible to the world is completely possible with God... and with that in mind... I will continue to push into this. I want people to know what we can't settle for what is acceptable and expected by the rest of the world.. that they can want more, and that God will allow them to reach the more only if they allow Him!
13 Jun 2012
In Christ Alone...
But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At
this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones
first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
(John 8:1-11)
So, seven years ago, God revealed this passage to me. He revealed it to me when I went on my first short term missions trip. (I say first because I don't count Grand Prairie as my first trip... I was being paid to be up there, it was my job.) Anyways... first missions trip, we went up to Assumption, a Aboriginal Reserve in northern Alberta. It was on this trip when this passage basically came to life for me. It wasn't because I saw the girls in the woman, but because I found myself in her.
It was my first encounter with God when I began to realize that I was so unworthy, and so undeserving of His death on the cross. It was the beginning of me starting to see how broken I was as a person, and how deserving of death I was... but because of Christ I stand uncondemned. Never before that summer had Jesus' words to the woman "Then neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin," pierced to deeply into my heart. Never had His words reflected so clearly to me the dire state I was in, and how desperately I was in need of God.
Since then... I had realized how little of it was about what I did in someone else's life while on a missions trip, but what God did for them on a daily basis. The desire for others to meet with God was because of this unconditional love that He pours out... the acceptance and reassurance of who we are that can only come from our Heavenly Father. How do you share that with someone if you've never reached that place of desperation for God yourself? If you don't understand what a gift it is that we have in Christ... how undeserving we are of it... how do you share what with others?
Last Monday, I went to watch Nefarious. A documentary about sex trafficking. The facts about sex trafficking wasn't what broke me down into tears, it was watching the testimonies of the girls share about their encounters with Jesus. On their faces, it was so evident that they had come face to face with the unconditional love of Christ... that they had found their acceptance and worth in Christ when nothing else could get through to them. It immediately brought me back to the passage in John 8. Through the testimonies of these girls who had been trafficked, my God took me deeper into that story. He showed me the brokeness of that woman... the guilt and shame... the hopelessness... the lack of self worth... the rejection... and how HE was the only one who could come in and wipe that from their hearts and their minds... and reveal to them how precious they are.
I came out of that so angry... and so frustrated at God. I didn't want to finish school no more, I just wanted to get out into the field... to reach these girls.... to introduce them to Jesus... to see those life transformations for myself... but all He kept telling me was that the time has not yet come, and that I was not yet ready.
Then this past Sunday... I really wanted prayer. Well... I've been wanting prayer for a while now... but I've been too proud to walk up to the front for prayer... or ask any of my friends for it. The American Korean man asked me what I wanted prayer for... I said healing of my heart. As he started to pray... what came out wasn't what I had anticipated... but He called out that God wants to use me, to reach girls like myself... to bring healing to them... to help them... that I was to be a mighty warrior for God.
I could do nothing but cry... because nothing has changed... God hasn't forgotten... we are still on the right path... my time will come. One day, I will see John 8 come to life before my very eyes... He's promised.
4 Jun 2012
Waiting.. deserts.. and other things...
Many thoughts plague me as I stepped off the plane. I return with a heavy heart and clouded mind... haunted by the feelings and thoughts that I once had so long ago... tired of the mental battle within myself that I'm changed... that I'm stronger... that I'm a new creation.
Perhaps somethings never change... perhaps some gaps can't be bridged... or perhaps that gap has simply widened over time and distance. Whatever the reason, the distance remains. But it is not this gap not distance that I want to talk about... but what has remained within me after so many years.
Words of death... I now realize why I've developed such negative speech patterns... such demeaning speech patterns. I'm sorry. God and I are gonna work on that one... failed today already. *sigh*
My 3's a crowd mentality... let's not even get started on that one. Definitely wanna kick this one to the curb.
So many destructive thinking patterns brought up in the past couple of weeks... thank goodness God calls me a work in progress..
Reflections aside... I feel my God is asking me to continue waiting. I'm not really sure what it is that I am suppose to be waiting for me... I have some guesses... but that is not important because it's not really about waiting for something... at the end of the day, it's all about waiting for God. So He has asked me to wait patiently for Him to do His thing.
So why the picture above? Hahaha... which is not really something someone says to someone who is waiting. I need to not waste another minute avoiding this lesson, or period of waiting... or time in the desert that God is trying to take me into.
My thoughts are all over the place... basically... a time of waiting is before me... and I'm being reluctant to enter it... because waiting is hard for me. But I will go knowing that He has gone before me to prepare this place for me.
27 Apr 2012
A Prayer for a Lukewarm Heart
Dear Friends, I hope you find this challenging... :)
A Prayer for a Lukewarm Heart:
O Infinitely Passionate Father,
You have created me with the capacity for deep affections — to love, to loathe, to desire, to delight, to excite, to grieve, to laugh, to enjoy, to fear, to be depressed, to be thankful. And you made me this way that I may glorify you by finding you my Supreme Satisfaction and the Fountain of everything delightful.
But I confess that my affections for you are often grievously tepid while my selfish interests steam.
I am easily and foolishly concerned with worldly success and prosperity while languid and unmoved about the greater things of another world!
And I know that my errant affections are most offensive to you when I hear of the infinite height, depth, and length, and breadth of your love for me in Christ Jesus,
O gracious Father, thank you that your Son’s great sacrifice is so great and so sufficient that it pays even for such sins of erroneous affections!
But, my affectionate Father, I am humbled to the dust that I am not more affected at what affects you! I repent of being “slothful in zeal”! No more, Father! Make me boil in spirit as I serve you (Romans 12:11)! To be moved by your glorious gospel and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4) is why you gave me affections! Nothing in earth or heaven is greater or more important.
Today, I take to heart your Son’s warning: “Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm… I will spit you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:15–16). Merciful Father, make me hot! Whatever it takes, whatever it costs me, give me the Spirit-salve for my heart-eyes (Revelation 3:18) so that I may see what is Real, believe what is True, treasure what is Valuable, and forsake what is worthless.
In the name of Jesus, your glorious Son, the Pearl of Great Price, amen.
This prayer was inspired by and adapted from a portion of Jonathan Edwards’s book, Religious Affections (the last three paragraphs of Part 1).
________
Previous posts from Jon Bloom —
A Prayer for a Lukewarm Heart:
O Infinitely Passionate Father,
You have created me with the capacity for deep affections — to love, to loathe, to desire, to delight, to excite, to grieve, to laugh, to enjoy, to fear, to be depressed, to be thankful. And you made me this way that I may glorify you by finding you my Supreme Satisfaction and the Fountain of everything delightful.
But I confess that my affections for you are often grievously tepid while my selfish interests steam.
- I am bold to defend my own honor and reputation and often timid to defend yours.
- I am quick to satisfy my bodily appetites and often slow to feed my soul with the Bread of Life.
- I squander moments devoted to communing with you while carefully protecting moments devoted to banal entertainment.
- I am distracted from speaking with you by books that need straightening, email that needs answering, and a bald spot in the yard that needs seeding.
I am easily and foolishly concerned with worldly success and prosperity while languid and unmoved about the greater things of another world!
And I know that my errant affections are most offensive to you when I hear of the infinite height, depth, and length, and breadth of your love for me in Christ Jesus,
- Of your giving your infinitely dear Son to be offered up a sacrifice for my sins,
- Of the unparalleled love of the innocent, holy, and tender Lamb of God, manifested in his dying agonies, bloody sweat, loud and bitter cries, and bleeding heart,
- And all this to redeem an enemy like me from deserved, eternal burnings, and give to me unspeakable and everlasting joy and glory,
- And my response is cool, lethargic, and indifferent.
O gracious Father, thank you that your Son’s great sacrifice is so great and so sufficient that it pays even for such sins of erroneous affections!
But, my affectionate Father, I am humbled to the dust that I am not more affected at what affects you! I repent of being “slothful in zeal”! No more, Father! Make me boil in spirit as I serve you (Romans 12:11)! To be moved by your glorious gospel and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4) is why you gave me affections! Nothing in earth or heaven is greater or more important.
Today, I take to heart your Son’s warning: “Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm… I will spit you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:15–16). Merciful Father, make me hot! Whatever it takes, whatever it costs me, give me the Spirit-salve for my heart-eyes (Revelation 3:18) so that I may see what is Real, believe what is True, treasure what is Valuable, and forsake what is worthless.
In the name of Jesus, your glorious Son, the Pearl of Great Price, amen.
This prayer was inspired by and adapted from a portion of Jonathan Edwards’s book, Religious Affections (the last three paragraphs of Part 1).
________
Previous posts from Jon Bloom —
- If You Feel Overwhelmed, Eat!
- The Cross Guarantees the Death of Our Dark Guest
- When the Angel Didn't Come
Almost to the end... or the beginning of something new :)
So... some questions I've been asked a lot in the past month is:
1. So, now what?
2. How are you feeling?
3. Are you worried?
Rather than trying to answer these questions a bazillion times (I'm so loved! :P) I'm going to just blog this, ok?
Let's start with how I'm feeling, which will be tied together with "Are you worried?" Someone gave me a verse... and I think it is a good representation of how I am feeling.
"And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earhtly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:7, The Amplified
I am at peace with what is going on in my regarding this area of work. Yes, I may have lost my job, and don't have a next step ready. But I am quite at peace about it. I'm not really anxious or worried. My God has shown up time and time again to show me that He is Jehovah Jireh. God is the one who gave me this job that I have lost... and before I lost my job, He reminded me that even if I were to lose this job, it would be by His hand. He would have allowed it because He is in control... therefore He must have a reason and purpose for it. So I trust that my God is up to something, and all that is left for me to do at this time is to seek Him! I am excited, because no work means I get to spend time with God! :)
When this verse was given to me, I was actually reminded of another verse that comes before this.
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." ~ Philippians 4:4-6 (ESV)
Someone one wrote me an email about this verse awhile ago... the peace comes from knowing and being confident in knowing that "the Lord is at hand." The idea that God is there, He is not far... He is ready to fight for me... Whenever I get nervous or scared, I just have to reach out my hand, and He will be right there. The email comes with a really happy and cute picture... and it was a good reminder for me. :)
Having said all that, so now what? Honestly, I don't know. Right now, at least for the next 5 days I will be busy paper writing for my last 2 papers... to finish of Year 1 of my degree! Then spend some time meeting up and catching up with people, as well as spending some time asking, seeking and knocking with God. Then... it's off to Australia for 3 weeks to spend some quality time with my 2 bestests from good ol' E-town! Placement will commence within 2 weeks of my return... and we will see what God has revealed by then to give you a further update on what I will be doing next.
I don't know what's next, but I'm excited about it. God has been speaking alot... confirming alot... or just reassuring a lot. I know that this next season might not be easy... but He has been reminding me that His ways are higher than mine, and His way is ALWAYS worth it! So with that as my anchor, I will keep walking into the murky waters knowing that my God loves me and that because He gave up His life for me... all that I may encounter will be worth it!
So I am doing very well, thank-you for asking. :)
1. So, now what?
2. How are you feeling?
3. Are you worried?
Rather than trying to answer these questions a bazillion times (I'm so loved! :P) I'm going to just blog this, ok?
Let's start with how I'm feeling, which will be tied together with "Are you worried?" Someone gave me a verse... and I think it is a good representation of how I am feeling.
"And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earhtly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:7, The Amplified
I am at peace with what is going on in my regarding this area of work. Yes, I may have lost my job, and don't have a next step ready. But I am quite at peace about it. I'm not really anxious or worried. My God has shown up time and time again to show me that He is Jehovah Jireh. God is the one who gave me this job that I have lost... and before I lost my job, He reminded me that even if I were to lose this job, it would be by His hand. He would have allowed it because He is in control... therefore He must have a reason and purpose for it. So I trust that my God is up to something, and all that is left for me to do at this time is to seek Him! I am excited, because no work means I get to spend time with God! :)
When this verse was given to me, I was actually reminded of another verse that comes before this.
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." ~ Philippians 4:4-6 (ESV)
Someone one wrote me an email about this verse awhile ago... the peace comes from knowing and being confident in knowing that "the Lord is at hand." The idea that God is there, He is not far... He is ready to fight for me... Whenever I get nervous or scared, I just have to reach out my hand, and He will be right there. The email comes with a really happy and cute picture... and it was a good reminder for me. :)
Having said all that, so now what? Honestly, I don't know. Right now, at least for the next 5 days I will be busy paper writing for my last 2 papers... to finish of Year 1 of my degree! Then spend some time meeting up and catching up with people, as well as spending some time asking, seeking and knocking with God. Then... it's off to Australia for 3 weeks to spend some quality time with my 2 bestests from good ol' E-town! Placement will commence within 2 weeks of my return... and we will see what God has revealed by then to give you a further update on what I will be doing next.
I don't know what's next, but I'm excited about it. God has been speaking alot... confirming alot... or just reassuring a lot. I know that this next season might not be easy... but He has been reminding me that His ways are higher than mine, and His way is ALWAYS worth it! So with that as my anchor, I will keep walking into the murky waters knowing that my God loves me and that because He gave up His life for me... all that I may encounter will be worth it!
So I am doing very well, thank-you for asking. :)
13 Apr 2012
My thoughts... this Am
Okay... I was reading the newspaper this moring and I'm just so saddened... or maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but it made my heart cry.
This is the article that I was reading. And these were the things that made me sad... maybe I should stop reading The Standard.... it's actually such bad news reporting...
"According to Social Workers' General Union president Peter Cheung Kwok-che, the traditional view of marriage being an "iron contract" has broken down over the years as the younger generation absorb more liberal, Westernized values.
...
Hong Kong Institute of Family Education chairman Tik Chi-yuen said the survey points to a social trend in which young adults favor a "fantasy marriage" based on romantic love and youth.
He attributed this to the preponderance of overseas romantic movies and dramas that almost always end in an exchange of marital vows. Local television also plays its part, Tik said. For example, an ongoing local reality show called Brides Wannabes showed single women getting schooled by professionals on the art of snaring an eligible partner."
"Westernized values"? What exactly are these westernized values?! Forget the finger-pointing and the blaming game. I had started this as an "I'm so dissatisfied and angry at HK people for always blaming others for their problems." But... I must repent of my anger, and my own bias towards my own people. Let's look at the bigger picture... which is that this the enemy's attack on God's picture and plan for marriage. I believe in God, and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, so to me there is only one picture of marriage that is correct, and that is God's!
In Mark 10 Jesus says, "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
There is no such thing as fantasy marrige. All those movies, K-dramas, Canto-dramas, Taiwanese dramas, chick flicks, reality TV shows... etc etc... their depiction of marriage has so distorted what God had intended for marrige.
In Genesis 2, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
In Ephesians 5, Paul describes marriage as "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
To unravel all of that theologically took Tim Keller like 7 sermons, so I'm not even gonna get into that. My point is that marriage is not meant to be easy... it is meant to be self-less. A dying of yourself, to pick up the cross to follow Christ. It is for God... to bring God glory, not to satisfy our own desires, or dreams or whatever. Perhaps you may find me idealistic... but too "Godly"... I can't control that. These are my thoughts... and I believe that marriage was desigined by God, to bring glory to God, and it makes my heart cry when I see what it's been turned into... and how easily people can divorce nowadays...
This is war my friends. And... in many parts of the world... in many marriages... the enemy is winning. Are you willing to stand in the gap for this? To take back for God what belongs to Him?!
This is the article that I was reading. And these were the things that made me sad... maybe I should stop reading The Standard.... it's actually such bad news reporting...
"According to Social Workers' General Union president Peter Cheung Kwok-che, the traditional view of marriage being an "iron contract" has broken down over the years as the younger generation absorb more liberal, Westernized values.
...
Hong Kong Institute of Family Education chairman Tik Chi-yuen said the survey points to a social trend in which young adults favor a "fantasy marriage" based on romantic love and youth.
He attributed this to the preponderance of overseas romantic movies and dramas that almost always end in an exchange of marital vows. Local television also plays its part, Tik said. For example, an ongoing local reality show called Brides Wannabes showed single women getting schooled by professionals on the art of snaring an eligible partner."
"Westernized values"? What exactly are these westernized values?! Forget the finger-pointing and the blaming game. I had started this as an "I'm so dissatisfied and angry at HK people for always blaming others for their problems." But... I must repent of my anger, and my own bias towards my own people. Let's look at the bigger picture... which is that this the enemy's attack on God's picture and plan for marriage. I believe in God, and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, so to me there is only one picture of marriage that is correct, and that is God's!
In Mark 10 Jesus says, "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
There is no such thing as fantasy marrige. All those movies, K-dramas, Canto-dramas, Taiwanese dramas, chick flicks, reality TV shows... etc etc... their depiction of marriage has so distorted what God had intended for marrige.
In Genesis 2, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
In Ephesians 5, Paul describes marriage as "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
To unravel all of that theologically took Tim Keller like 7 sermons, so I'm not even gonna get into that. My point is that marriage is not meant to be easy... it is meant to be self-less. A dying of yourself, to pick up the cross to follow Christ. It is for God... to bring God glory, not to satisfy our own desires, or dreams or whatever. Perhaps you may find me idealistic... but too "Godly"... I can't control that. These are my thoughts... and I believe that marriage was desigined by God, to bring glory to God, and it makes my heart cry when I see what it's been turned into... and how easily people can divorce nowadays...
This is war my friends. And... in many parts of the world... in many marriages... the enemy is winning. Are you willing to stand in the gap for this? To take back for God what belongs to Him?!
12 Apr 2012
Race and the Horrific Frequency of Abortion
Race and the Horrific Frequency of Abortion: 
Tucked away near the bottom, and easily out of sight, is one of the compounded tragedies of abortion. The profoundly disproportionate number of black babies being aborted.
Every child is created in God's image and is knit together by him in the womb. Every child, of every race, is God's design and gift (Psalm 139:13). None should be killed.
And when there are historic and contemporary evidences that certain minorities are targeted by the abortion industry, the loss is compounded by the lurking sin of racism.
Let these numbers (these persons, these babies) sink in. Then do the research for your own state or vicinity.
With thanks for the significant work of Minnesota Citizens Concerned for Life, here are the statistics on abortion in Minnesota for 2010.
11,505 abortions were performed — an average of more than 33 every single day.
Abortion as birth control:
Abortion complications:
Reasons given for abortions:
Minnesota abortions show racial disparity (2009 Data)
If this "hidden" statistic grips you enough that you want to connect with others who share the concern, here are a few websites and resources to make the connections:
________
Recent posts from John Piper —
Tucked away near the bottom, and easily out of sight, is one of the compounded tragedies of abortion. The profoundly disproportionate number of black babies being aborted.
Every child is created in God's image and is knit together by him in the womb. Every child, of every race, is God's design and gift (Psalm 139:13). None should be killed.
And when there are historic and contemporary evidences that certain minorities are targeted by the abortion industry, the loss is compounded by the lurking sin of racism.
Let these numbers (these persons, these babies) sink in. Then do the research for your own state or vicinity.
With thanks for the significant work of Minnesota Citizens Concerned for Life, here are the statistics on abortion in Minnesota for 2010.
11,505 abortions were performed — an average of more than 33 every single day.
- 34% of the abortions were paid for with taxpayer funds.
- 35% of the abortions were performed by Planned Parenthood — more than any other provider.
- 21% of the abortions used the dangerous and sometimes lethal RU486 abortion drug.
- 4% of the abortions were performed on women under age 18.
- 43% of the abortions were performed on women ages 18 to 24.
Abortion as birth control:
- 42% of the women reported that they had at least one previous abortion.
- 881 of the women reported that they had three or more previous abortions.
- 16 of the women reported that they had nine or more previous abortions.
Abortion complications:
- 22 complications were reported by women at the time of the abortion, including cervical laceration and hemorrhage.
- 142 complications have been reported by women after leaving the abortion provider, including hemorrhage, infection requiring hospitalization and incomplete abortion.
Reasons given for abortions:
- 32% of the women reported "Economic reasons."
- 63% of the women reported "Does not want children at this time."
- Less than 1% of the women reported that the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest.
Minnesota abortions show racial disparity (2009 Data)
If this "hidden" statistic grips you enough that you want to connect with others who share the concern, here are a few websites and resources to make the connections:
________
Recent posts from John Piper —
- The Mega Millions Lottery Is a Suicidal Craze
- Bonhoeffer on Abortion
- Trayvon Martin, Race, and the Gospel
10 Apr 2012
Returned from Seoul Searching... :)
This was the verse that kept coming up time and time again during my time in Korea and even before Korea:
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks received, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" ~ Matthew 7:7-11
So... before going to Korea, one of the things that were heavy on my mind was the high abortion rate. I've known this for awhile, and have been quite interested in Korea ever since I heard it. So as I was planning my trip, this was something that was on my heart. I didn't want to go to Korea to just... well... eat and shop. Well... I did want to eat lots, but less so shopping, but was wondering and asking God what He wanted me to do. Why He was asking me to go to Korea at this time. I didn't know what I could possibly do while I was in Korea since I knew nothing about the place.. and nothing of their language... (other than random phrases and food names..)
Well... when God is in control, God is really in control. On Thursday night, we went to this Harp and Bowl Prayer House thing... and during intercession time, the girl announces that "Tonight, we will be praying for abortions in Korea." I was completely broken... completely floored, and completely overwhelmed by how much my God loves me! If there had been any doubt in my mind that God had brought me to Korea... I was no longer doubting. When you ask God to help your unbelief... He really does!
But God doesn't stop there... He keeps going. Good Friday service... a message about the bondage of pornography, sex trafficking, sex trade, abortion, sexual immorality... materalism... God is opening my eyes and heart to the issues that I care about within the Korean context. Why? I don't know... but I've been completely blown out of the water by the way He has orchestrated every single min of my trip!
Ahhh... I wish I could write out every single detail and thought that crossed my mind during this trip, but I cannot. Hahaha... that might take way too long! One thing I can share is that I left feeling full of hope and full of joy that my God knows what He is doing. Despite my circumstances, I know that my God is good... and that He is in control! :) So... I believe this next season will be one of asking, seeking and knocking... and doors WILL open... confirmations will be given!
So... the feeling of anticipation of these crazy things to come continues! :) God is so so so good!
2 Apr 2012
Monday Musings...
So weekend started with me losing my job... (I still have to finish off the month of April though...) For now, I'm gonna keep my thoughts on this subject off the blog... because there are still signs of me being being angry about this... I'll share more when I am ready. But I will say that I trust that God is behind this, that He has His reasons, and that ultimately it will be in my best interests.
So they fire me Friday night... and I still have to wake up to go to work on Saturday morning... *grumble grumble* But His mercies are new every morning... and that is the only thing that could get me out of bed to make my way to work Saturday morning. Spent the afternoon sitting at PCC whilst I wait for 180 to start. Finished some reading for school! :) But my favourite part of the afternoon was getting a random chance to talk to someone I don't normally get to talk to... and to hear about something that was obviously quite dear to their heart!
I LOVE hearing someone talk about something that they are passionate about! There is nothing like watching someone's face lights up as they talk about something that they really care about!
Sunday... early morning start for AM worship... I love my church family. That is all I have to say. Just when I thought my season of crying was coming to an end... completely broke down in ugly wailing crying when RQ prayed for me. Rebelliously refused to receive the word and prayer pyoo was trying to give... overall a very eventful Sunday morning. Ended the day with finding out that there will be cherry blossoms in Korea while I'm there this weekend.... I am going looking for them! Hopefully this will result in some worth blogging pictures when I come back!
I'm once again entering back into the unknown... but I know that God will take good care of me in this time... and I don't know... there's this sense of anticipation building within me... and a feeling that God is about to show me something big. EEK! :)
So they fire me Friday night... and I still have to wake up to go to work on Saturday morning... *grumble grumble* But His mercies are new every morning... and that is the only thing that could get me out of bed to make my way to work Saturday morning. Spent the afternoon sitting at PCC whilst I wait for 180 to start. Finished some reading for school! :) But my favourite part of the afternoon was getting a random chance to talk to someone I don't normally get to talk to... and to hear about something that was obviously quite dear to their heart!
I LOVE hearing someone talk about something that they are passionate about! There is nothing like watching someone's face lights up as they talk about something that they really care about!
Sunday... early morning start for AM worship... I love my church family. That is all I have to say. Just when I thought my season of crying was coming to an end... completely broke down in ugly wailing crying when RQ prayed for me. Rebelliously refused to receive the word and prayer pyoo was trying to give... overall a very eventful Sunday morning. Ended the day with finding out that there will be cherry blossoms in Korea while I'm there this weekend.... I am going looking for them! Hopefully this will result in some worth blogging pictures when I come back!
I'm once again entering back into the unknown... but I know that God will take good care of me in this time... and I don't know... there's this sense of anticipation building within me... and a feeling that God is about to show me something big. EEK! :)
26 Mar 2012
Article on Opposites...
Good article... wise words. :)
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/28648-opposites-attack
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/28648-opposites-attack
Bonhoeffer on Abortion
Bonhoeffer on Abortion: 
Dietrich Bonhoeffer is claimed as a patron saint by theological schools, ranging from God is Dead to evangelical conservatives. Eric Metaxas sees his biography as one step in the rescue of Bonhoeffer from the most bizarre misuses of his thinking.
Along the way he points out, for example, Bonhoeffer’s clear and strong views on abortion. They are decisive on the immorality of it, and pastorally compassionate toward the persons in crisis.
________
Recent posts from John Piper —
Dietrich Bonhoeffer is claimed as a patron saint by theological schools, ranging from God is Dead to evangelical conservatives. Eric Metaxas sees his biography as one step in the rescue of Bonhoeffer from the most bizarre misuses of his thinking.
Along the way he points out, for example, Bonhoeffer’s clear and strong views on abortion. They are decisive on the immorality of it, and pastorally compassionate toward the persons in crisis.
Destruction of the embryo in the mother’s womb is a violation of the right to live which God has bestowed upon this nascent life. To raise the question whether we are here concerned already with a human being or not is merely to confuse the issue. The simple fact is that God certainly intended to create a human being and that this nascent human being has been deliberately deprived of his life. And this is nothing but murder.
A great many different motives may lead to an action of this kind; indeed in cases where it is an act of despair, performed in circumstances of extreme human or economic destitution and misery, the guilt may often lie rather with the community than with the individual. Precisely in this connection money may conceal many a wanton deed, while the poor man’s more reluctant lapse may far more easily be disclosed.
All these considerations must no doubt have a quite decisive influence on our personal and pastoral attitude towards the person concerned, but they cannot in any way alter the fact of murder. (Quoted in Eric Metaxas, Bonhoeffer, 472, paragraphing added)
________
Recent posts from John Piper —
- Trayvon Martin, Race, and the Gospel
- I Was Warned by Job This Morning
- What's the Difference Between Jesus and the Lawyers?
23 Mar 2012
Spirit of Rejection... be GONE!
"So then, brothers,we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." ~ 1 Corinthians 8:12-17
So I've been thinking about something latley. My life as a kid. I've been wondering if I felt rejected as a child, and therefore now I am living that out in my life. Or still living in the spirit of rejection. It's not that my childhood was terrible or unhappy, but I've just been wondering about it. I have 2 reasons for why I've been thinking about this, 1) my family was expecting me to be a son 2) my grandfather.
Let me tackle the more simple of the two... my family was expecting me to be a son. I don't know why... or how... but from weird Chinese superstition my family was expecting me to be a son, and even had a boy's name waiting for me when I was born. Let's try to explain this a little more... Chinese families favour sons because they carry on the family name. My dad was also the oldest son in the family, so for them to be expecting a son... I think I must've been a pretty big deal. When I turned out to be a daughter, I wonder if there was disappointment. There must've been... especially from my grandmother. She cares so much about her reputation and "status" in the family... that having the first male grandson would bring her. I don't know if it was in my head, or I just don't understand her, but I always felt like she favoured my brother over me. (He's the first male grandson.)
Perhaps this is why I always had this attitude that I could do whatever boys did... and I'm just as good. Perhaps subconsciously I've been fighting for my place in the family to fight the rejection that I felt because I was a daughter and not a son. Now add this in with a mother who doesn't really encourage girly behaviour and dressed me up as a boy as a kid... and didn't encourage girly dresses and stuff... that's probably why I am the way that I am now. Now I'm almost 30... I think I'm finally starting to find myself... and where I really fit in between my trying to be a boy... and the girly side within me.
Now for the more complicated part of the equation... my grandfather. You see, he had 2 wives... and growing up, my grandfather was only around for lunch... and then he would leave and return to his other home. Maybe a part of me always called that "his real home." I don't know... as a child I didn't understand.. and now... I still don't understand what was going on. I know my grandmother must've felt quite rejected... she carries around a very large spirit of rejection... (God bless her soul, I hope she can find the freedom that is in Jesus soon!). So... I think I eventually subconsciously developed a sense that we were the rejected grand children. It's not true... but as a child, you absorb... and that's what I absorbed.
I think this is the base of much irrational fears of rejection and abandonment. BUT... God has given me His Spirit... and I am a child of God. I live by the Spirit... which will put to death all of this... which were the result of the deeds of the flesh. I do not fall back into that fear... or a spirit of slavery to these things, but I live free and full of life in Christ. So spirit of rejection, I BREAK you. I claim my identity in Christ as a beloved daughter of God that no matter what my past has dictated, I am free from that because Christ has given me the Spirit of adoption and I am now part of a bigger family who loves and accepts me for who I am regardless of my gender.
So I've been thinking about something latley. My life as a kid. I've been wondering if I felt rejected as a child, and therefore now I am living that out in my life. Or still living in the spirit of rejection. It's not that my childhood was terrible or unhappy, but I've just been wondering about it. I have 2 reasons for why I've been thinking about this, 1) my family was expecting me to be a son 2) my grandfather.
Let me tackle the more simple of the two... my family was expecting me to be a son. I don't know why... or how... but from weird Chinese superstition my family was expecting me to be a son, and even had a boy's name waiting for me when I was born. Let's try to explain this a little more... Chinese families favour sons because they carry on the family name. My dad was also the oldest son in the family, so for them to be expecting a son... I think I must've been a pretty big deal. When I turned out to be a daughter, I wonder if there was disappointment. There must've been... especially from my grandmother. She cares so much about her reputation and "status" in the family... that having the first male grandson would bring her. I don't know if it was in my head, or I just don't understand her, but I always felt like she favoured my brother over me. (He's the first male grandson.)
Perhaps this is why I always had this attitude that I could do whatever boys did... and I'm just as good. Perhaps subconsciously I've been fighting for my place in the family to fight the rejection that I felt because I was a daughter and not a son. Now add this in with a mother who doesn't really encourage girly behaviour and dressed me up as a boy as a kid... and didn't encourage girly dresses and stuff... that's probably why I am the way that I am now. Now I'm almost 30... I think I'm finally starting to find myself... and where I really fit in between my trying to be a boy... and the girly side within me.
Now for the more complicated part of the equation... my grandfather. You see, he had 2 wives... and growing up, my grandfather was only around for lunch... and then he would leave and return to his other home. Maybe a part of me always called that "his real home." I don't know... as a child I didn't understand.. and now... I still don't understand what was going on. I know my grandmother must've felt quite rejected... she carries around a very large spirit of rejection... (God bless her soul, I hope she can find the freedom that is in Jesus soon!). So... I think I eventually subconsciously developed a sense that we were the rejected grand children. It's not true... but as a child, you absorb... and that's what I absorbed.
I think this is the base of much irrational fears of rejection and abandonment. BUT... God has given me His Spirit... and I am a child of God. I live by the Spirit... which will put to death all of this... which were the result of the deeds of the flesh. I do not fall back into that fear... or a spirit of slavery to these things, but I live free and full of life in Christ. So spirit of rejection, I BREAK you. I claim my identity in Christ as a beloved daughter of God that no matter what my past has dictated, I am free from that because Christ has given me the Spirit of adoption and I am now part of a bigger family who loves and accepts me for who I am regardless of my gender.
21 Mar 2012
Fruit in unexpected places...
"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'" ~ 1 Corinthians 1: 26-31
Recently, God used a time when I was so broken and dead on the inside to bring me to my knees in humility. Or perhaps He just wanted to drive a point home... which was no matter what state I am in, if I am obedient, He will use me to bring Him glory.
Back in 2007... a year which is full of much frustration for me, I was helping out at my home church every Friday night at our high school fellowship. (AKA Petros). Don't miss the point, I loved those kids... each and everyone of them. I had a lot of fun with them... but I also knew that I wasn't investing as much time and effort... and basically myself as I would've liked... always leaving me to wonder if my presense even had much impact on them. Because I was still in a place of a lot of hurt... I wasn't quite as transparent with them as I would've liked... and therefore resulting in a wall between us.
Awhile back, one of those kiddies got in contact with me. (I guess they're not really kiddies, since they're all in university now..) I was floored to read her message. I think it actually made me cry. Hahaha.... :P I never knew that I had any impact on them... but I guess now I know. And recently I found out that she went and took mystory (the video from several months ago) and had shared it. Hahaha... I am humbled. Because that was not me... the only way I could have left any impact or impression upon those kiddies was if God had done it.
Sometimes God gets me to do things which makes no sense to me at the time... but later (and sometimes it's years later) God reveals the reason. I think this is God's way to encouraging me and remind me that no matter how much something doesn't make sense, God had purposed it and it will all be for His glory. And it will all make sense... eventually.
Thank-you God. You are so awesome!
Recently, God used a time when I was so broken and dead on the inside to bring me to my knees in humility. Or perhaps He just wanted to drive a point home... which was no matter what state I am in, if I am obedient, He will use me to bring Him glory.
Back in 2007... a year which is full of much frustration for me, I was helping out at my home church every Friday night at our high school fellowship. (AKA Petros). Don't miss the point, I loved those kids... each and everyone of them. I had a lot of fun with them... but I also knew that I wasn't investing as much time and effort... and basically myself as I would've liked... always leaving me to wonder if my presense even had much impact on them. Because I was still in a place of a lot of hurt... I wasn't quite as transparent with them as I would've liked... and therefore resulting in a wall between us.
Awhile back, one of those kiddies got in contact with me. (I guess they're not really kiddies, since they're all in university now..) I was floored to read her message. I think it actually made me cry. Hahaha.... :P I never knew that I had any impact on them... but I guess now I know. And recently I found out that she went and took mystory (the video from several months ago) and had shared it. Hahaha... I am humbled. Because that was not me... the only way I could have left any impact or impression upon those kiddies was if God had done it.
Sometimes God gets me to do things which makes no sense to me at the time... but later (and sometimes it's years later) God reveals the reason. I think this is God's way to encouraging me and remind me that no matter how much something doesn't make sense, God had purposed it and it will all be for His glory. And it will all make sense... eventually.
Thank-you God. You are so awesome!
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