A Prayer for a Lukewarm Heart

Dear Friends, I hope you find this challenging... :)

A Prayer for a Lukewarm Heart:
O Infinitely Passionate Father,


You have created me with the capacity for deep affections — to love, to loathe, to desire, to delight, to excite, to grieve, to laugh, to enjoy, to fear, to be depressed, to be thankful. And you made me this way that I may glorify you by finding you my Supreme Satisfaction and the Fountain of everything delightful.


But I confess that my affections for you are often grievously tepid while my selfish interests steam.

• I am bold to defend my own honor and reputation and often timid to defend yours.
• I am quick to satisfy my bodily appetites and often slow to feed my soul with the Bread of Life.
• I squander moments devoted to communing with you while carefully protecting moments devoted to banal entertainment.
• I am distracted from speaking with you by books that need straightening, email that needs answering, and a bald spot in the yard that needs seeding.

I am easily and foolishly concerned with worldly success and prosperity while languid and unmoved about the greater things of another world!


And I know that my errant affections are most offensive to you when I hear of the infinite height, depth, and length, and breadth of your love for me in Christ Jesus,

• Of your giving your infinitely dear Son to be offered up a sacrifice for my sins,
• Of the unparalleled love of the innocent, holy, and tender Lamb of God, manifested in his dying agonies, bloody sweat, loud and bitter cries, and bleeding heart,
• And all this to redeem an enemy like me from deserved, eternal burnings, and give to me unspeakable and everlasting joy and glory,
• And my response is cool, lethargic, and indifferent.

O gracious Father, thank you that your Son’s great sacrifice is so great and so sufficient that it pays even for such sins of erroneous affections!


But, my affectionate Father, I am humbled to the dust that I am not more affected at what affects you! I repent of being “slothful in zeal”! No more, Father! Make me boil in spirit as I serve you (Romans 12:11)! To be moved by your glorious gospel and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4) is why you gave me affections! Nothing in earth or heaven is greater or more important.


Today, I take to heart your Son’s warning: “Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm… I will spit you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:15–16). Merciful Father, make me hot! Whatever it takes, whatever it costs me, give me the Spirit-salve for my heart-eyes (Revelation 3:18) so that I may see what is Real, believe what is True, treasure what is Valuable, and forsake what is worthless.


In the name of Jesus, your glorious Son, the Pearl of Great Price, amen.


This prayer was inspired by and adapted from a portion of Jonathan Edwards’s book, Religious Affections (the last three paragraphs of Part 1).


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Previous posts from Jon Bloom —

• If You Feel Overwhelmed, Eat!
• The Cross Guarantees the Death of Our Dark Guest
• When the Angel Didn't Come

Almost to the end... or the beginning of something new :)

So... some questions I've been asked a lot in the past month is:
1. So, now what?
2. How are you feeling?
3. Are you worried?

Rather than trying to answer these questions a bazillion times (I'm so loved! :P) I'm going to just blog this, ok?

Let's start with how I'm feeling, which will be tied together with "Are you worried?" Someone gave me a verse... and I think it is a good representation of how I am feeling.

"And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earhtly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:7, The Amplified

I am at peace with what is going on in my regarding this area of work. Yes, I may have lost my job, and don't have a next step ready. But I am quite at peace about it. I'm not really anxious or worried. My God has shown up time and time again to show me that He is Jehovah Jireh. God is the one who gave me this job that I have lost... and before I lost my job, He reminded me that even if I were to lose this job, it would be by His hand. He would have allowed it because He is in control... therefore He must have a reason and purpose for it. So I trust that my God is up to something, and all that is left for me to do at this time is to seek Him! I am excited, because no work means I get to spend time with God! :)

When this verse was given to me, I was actually reminded of another verse that comes before this. 

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." ~ Philippians 4:4-6 (ESV)

Someone one wrote me an email about this verse awhile ago... the peace comes from knowing and being confident in knowing that "the Lord is at hand." The idea that God is there, He is not far... He is ready to fight for me... Whenever I get nervous or scared, I just have to reach out my hand, and He will be right there. The email comes with a really happy and cute picture... and it was a good reminder for me. :) 

Having said all that, so now what? Honestly, I don't know. Right now, at least for the next 5 days I will be busy paper writing for my last 2 papers... to finish of Year 1 of my degree! Then spend some time meeting up and catching up with people, as well as spending some time asking, seeking and knocking with God. Then... it's off to Australia for 3 weeks to spend some quality time with my 2 bestests from good ol' E-town! Placement will commence within 2 weeks of my return... and we will see what God has revealed by then to give you a further update on what I will be doing next.

I don't know what's next, but I'm excited about it. God has been speaking alot... confirming alot... or just reassuring a lot. I know that this next season might not be easy... but He has been reminding me that His ways are higher than mine, and His way is ALWAYS worth it! So with that as my anchor, I will keep walking into the murky waters knowing that my God loves me and that because He gave up His life for me... all that I may encounter will be worth it!  

So I am doing very well, thank-you for asking. :)

My thoughts... this Am

Okay... I was reading the newspaper this moring and I'm just so saddened... or maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but it made my heart cry.

This is the article that I was reading. And these were the things that made me sad... maybe I should stop reading The Standard.... it's actually such bad news reporting...

"According to Social Workers' General Union president Peter Cheung Kwok-che, the traditional view of marriage being an "iron contract" has broken down over the years as the younger generation absorb more liberal, Westernized values.

...

Hong Kong Institute of Family Education chairman Tik Chi-yuen said the survey points to a social trend in which young adults favor a "fantasy marriage" based on romantic love and youth.


He attributed this to the preponderance of overseas romantic movies and dramas that almost always end in an exchange of marital vows. Local television also plays its part, Tik said. For example, an ongoing local reality show called Brides Wannabes showed single women getting schooled by professionals on the art of snaring an eligible partner."

"Westernized values"? What exactly are these westernized values?! Forget the finger-pointing and the blaming game. I had started this as an "I'm so dissatisfied and angry at HK people for always blaming others for their problems." But... I must repent of my anger, and my own bias towards my own people. Let's look at the bigger picture... which is that this the enemy's attack on God's picture and plan for marriage. I believe in God, and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, so to me there is only one picture of marriage that is correct, and that is God's!

In Mark 10 Jesus says, "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." 

There is no such thing as fantasy marrige. All those movies, K-dramas, Canto-dramas, Taiwanese dramas, chick flicks, reality TV shows... etc etc... their depiction of marriage has so distorted what God had intended for marrige.

In Genesis 2, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

In Ephesians 5, Paul describes marriage as "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

To unravel all of that theologically took Tim Keller like 7 sermons, so I'm not even gonna get into that. My point is that marriage is not meant to be easy... it is meant to be self-less. A dying of yourself, to pick up the cross to follow Christ. It is for God... to bring God glory, not to satisfy our own desires, or dreams or whatever. Perhaps you may find me idealistic... but too "Godly"... I can't control that. These are my thoughts... and I believe that marriage was desigined by God, to bring glory to God, and it makes my heart cry when I see what it's been turned into... and how easily people can divorce nowadays...

This is war my friends. And... in many parts of the world... in many marriages... the enemy is winning. Are you willing to stand in the gap for this? To take back for God what belongs to Him?!

Race and the Horrific Frequency of Abortion

Race and the Horrific Frequency of Abortion:
Tucked away near the bottom, and easily out of sight, is one of the compounded tragedies of abortion. The profoundly disproportionate number of black babies being aborted.


Every child is created in God's image and is knit together by him in the womb. Every child, of every race, is God's design and gift (Psalm 139:13). None should be killed.


And when there are historic and contemporary evidences that certain minorities are targeted by the abortion industry, the loss is compounded by the lurking sin of racism.


Let these numbers (these persons, these babies) sink in. Then do the research for your own state or vicinity.


With thanks for the significant work of Minnesota Citizens Concerned for Life, here are the statistics on abortion in Minnesota for 2010.


11,505 abortions were performed — an average of more than 33 every single day.


• 34% of the abortions were paid for with taxpayer funds.

• 35% of the abortions were performed by Planned Parenthood — more than any other provider.

• 21% of the abortions used the dangerous and sometimes lethal RU486 abortion drug.
• 4% of the abortions were performed on women under age 18.

• 43% of the abortions were performed on women ages 18 to 24.

Abortion as birth control:

• 42% of the women reported that they had at least one previous abortion.
• 881 of the women reported that they had three or more previous abortions.
• 16 of the women reported that they had nine or more previous abortions.

Abortion complications:

• 22 complications were reported by women at the time of the abortion, including cervical laceration and hemorrhage.
• 142 complications have been reported by women after leaving the abortion provider, including hemorrhage, infection requiring hospitalization and incomplete abortion.

Reasons given for abortions:

• 32% of the women reported "Economic reasons."

• 63% of the women reported "Does not want children at this time."

• Less than 1% of the women reported that the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest.

Minnesota abortions show racial disparity (2009 Data)





If this "hidden" statistic grips you enough that you want to connect with others who share the concern, here are a few websites and resources to make the connections:

• Black Genocide
• National Black Pro-Life Coalition
• The National Black Pro-Life Union
• Did You Know?

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Recent posts from John Piper —

• The Mega Millions Lottery Is a Suicidal Craze
• Bonhoeffer on Abortion
• Trayvon Martin, Race, and the Gospel

Returned from Seoul Searching... :)

  

Well... Korea has come and gone. Here are some pics from my phone.... the ones on the camera will be posted when I have time to go through them... :P 

This was the verse that kept coming up time and time again during my time in Korea and even before Korea:

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks received, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" ~ Matthew 7:7-11

So... before going to Korea, one of the things that were heavy on my mind was the high abortion rate. I've known this for awhile, and have been quite interested in Korea ever since I heard it. So as I was planning my trip, this was something that was on my heart. I didn't want to go to Korea to just... well... eat and shop. Well... I did want to eat lots, but less so shopping, but was wondering and asking God what He wanted me to do. Why He was asking me to go to Korea at this time. I didn't know what I could possibly do while I was in Korea since I knew nothing about the place.. and nothing of their language... (other than random phrases and food names..)

Well... when God is in control, God is really in control. On Thursday night, we went to this Harp and Bowl Prayer House thing... and during intercession time, the girl announces that "Tonight, we will be praying for abortions in Korea." I was completely broken... completely floored, and completely overwhelmed by how much my God loves me! If there had been any doubt in my mind that God had brought me to Korea... I was no longer doubting. When you ask God to help your unbelief... He really does!

But God doesn't stop there... He keeps going. Good Friday service... a message about the bondage of pornography, sex trafficking, sex trade, abortion, sexual immorality... materalism... God is opening my eyes and heart to the issues that I care about within the Korean context. Why? I don't know... but I've been completely blown out of the water by the way He has orchestrated every single min of my trip!

Ahhh... I wish I could write out every single detail and thought that crossed my mind during this trip, but I cannot. Hahaha... that might take way too long! One thing I can share is that I left feeling full of hope and full of joy that my God knows what He is doing. Despite my circumstances, I know that my God is good... and that He is in control! :) So... I believe this next season will be one of asking, seeking and knocking... and doors WILL open... confirmations will be given!

So... the feeling of anticipation of these crazy things to come continues! :) God is so so so good!

Monday Musings...

So weekend started with me losing my job... (I still have to finish off the month of April though...) For now, I'm gonna keep my thoughts on this subject off the blog... because there are still signs of me being being angry about this... I'll share more when I am ready. But I will say that I trust that God is behind this, that He has His reasons, and that ultimately it will be in my best interests.

So they fire me Friday night... and I still have to wake up to go to work on Saturday morning... *grumble grumble* But His mercies are new every morning... and that is the only thing that could get me out of bed to make my way to work Saturday morning. Spent the afternoon sitting at PCC whilst I wait for 180 to start. Finished some reading for school! :) But my favourite part of the afternoon was getting a random chance to talk to someone I don't normally get to talk to... and to hear about something that was obviously quite dear to their heart!

I LOVE hearing someone talk about something that they are passionate about! There is nothing like watching someone's face lights up as they talk about something that they really care about!

Sunday... early morning start for AM worship... I love my church family. That is all I have to say. Just when I thought my season of crying was coming to an end... completely broke down in ugly wailing crying when RQ prayed for me. Rebelliously refused to receive the word and prayer pyoo was trying to give... overall a very eventful Sunday morning. Ended the day with finding out that there will be cherry blossoms in Korea while I'm there this weekend.... I am going looking for them! Hopefully this will result in some worth blogging pictures when I come back!

I'm once again entering back into the unknown... but I know that God will take good care of me in this time... and I don't know... there's this sense of anticipation building within me... and a feeling that God is about to show me something big. EEK! :)