But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At
this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones
first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
(John 8:1-11)
So, seven years ago, God revealed this passage to me. He revealed it to me when I went on my first short term missions trip. (I say first because I don't count Grand Prairie as my first trip... I was being paid to be up there, it was my job.) Anyways... first missions trip, we went up to Assumption, a Aboriginal Reserve in northern Alberta. It was on this trip when this passage basically came to life for me. It wasn't because I saw the girls in the woman, but because I found myself in her.
It was my first encounter with God when I began to realize that I was so unworthy, and so undeserving of His death on the cross. It was the beginning of me starting to see how broken I was as a person, and how deserving of death I was... but because of Christ I stand uncondemned. Never before that summer had Jesus' words to the woman "Then neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin," pierced to deeply into my heart. Never had His words reflected so clearly to me the dire state I was in, and how desperately I was in need of God.
Since then... I had realized how little of it was about what I did in someone else's life while on a missions trip, but what God did for them on a daily basis. The desire for others to meet with God was because of this unconditional love that He pours out... the acceptance and reassurance of who we are that can only come from our Heavenly Father. How do you share that with someone if you've never reached that place of desperation for God yourself? If you don't understand what a gift it is that we have in Christ... how undeserving we are of it... how do you share what with others?
Last Monday, I went to watch Nefarious. A documentary about sex trafficking. The facts about sex trafficking wasn't what broke me down into tears, it was watching the testimonies of the girls share about their encounters with Jesus. On their faces, it was so evident that they had come face to face with the unconditional love of Christ... that they had found their acceptance and worth in Christ when nothing else could get through to them. It immediately brought me back to the passage in John 8. Through the testimonies of these girls who had been trafficked, my God took me deeper into that story. He showed me the brokeness of that woman... the guilt and shame... the hopelessness... the lack of self worth... the rejection... and how HE was the only one who could come in and wipe that from their hearts and their minds... and reveal to them how precious they are.
I came out of that so angry... and so frustrated at God. I didn't want to finish school no more, I just wanted to get out into the field... to reach these girls.... to introduce them to Jesus... to see those life transformations for myself... but all He kept telling me was that the time has not yet come, and that I was not yet ready.
Then this past Sunday... I really wanted prayer. Well... I've been wanting prayer for a while now... but I've been too proud to walk up to the front for prayer... or ask any of my friends for it. The American Korean man asked me what I wanted prayer for... I said healing of my heart. As he started to pray... what came out wasn't what I had anticipated... but He called out that God wants to use me, to reach girls like myself... to bring healing to them... to help them... that I was to be a mighty warrior for God.
I could do nothing but cry... because nothing has changed... God hasn't forgotten... we are still on the right path... my time will come. One day, I will see John 8 come to life before my very eyes... He's promised.
