Hump Day Happenings...

Well... technically this happened yesterday, but oh well. 

Last night one of my bridesmaid and I went to the Island ECC clothing sale . They're raising funds for a new church building, and I still need a wedding dress (kind of). Plus, I had heard some good things about their last sale, so I decided to go with her and check things out. I did not expect to find our own Christian version of Bride Wars there... other than the dress that we might potentially get... that was probably the best part of the evening! Not including the dinner with said bridesmaid and her husband. 

So we arrived, and we looked around at their wedding dress collection. Most of the stuff were pretty over the top for me, but we found a simple, kinda vintage looking gown. We thought that wasn't a bad find for HKD$700! So hunt over, right? NO! Haha... in our snooping around, my bridesmaid found this other dress lying on the side, on top of some boxes. The dress was just the right combination of things I had been looking for in the wedding dress hunt! We quickly made further inquiries to whether we can take that dress instead. The dress was actually sitting there waiting for this other girl to make up her mind about it. 

We... by we I mean my bridesmaid went to talk to her and see if she would just not take the dress. I think our interest pushed her further towards keeping the dress. DANG!! My friend told sob stories of how I worked in ministry and my husband to be was a missionary and we were on a tight wedding budget (which aren't lies)... and mostly true. Somehow in there, she also expressed that she was only buying the dress to support her church and she would probably only wear it for pre-wedding photos... SAY WHAT?! Give me the dress, I'll actually wear it for the wedding! She was very nice though, she did let me try it on, actually she asked if she could try the one I had picked as well. 

While in the change room, we engaged in half-dressed awkward small talk. Actually the volunteer helping with the sale was very good in helping to keep things light and calm! Props to her! The other bride was also getting married in November... on the 26th... same day as our India reception! Haha... if I only take the dress for our India reception, we would potentially need the dress on the same day! Goodness gracious... talk about bride wars! 

In the end, she said she would buy the dress. *Heart sinking* Bridesmaid to the rescue! She kept pushing me to ask if I can have it after she's done, if she's only using it for photos. Awkward talking, small talk... she said that's not a problem. She pretty much said she's 100% certain I can have the dress once she's finished with her pre-wedding photos. We exchanged numbers and saved each other by name and tag "insert church name - wedding gown"... hahaha perhaps we are very similar. In a parallel universe we could be friends. Anyways... bride wars finished. We still bought the other dress, just in case she falls through, although we tried to do it subtlety without making it look like we didn't trust her. We had to wait a long time... she was sitting there for at least another 30-40 mins. Our guess was that she's still thinking about if she really wants that dress. In the end, after we thought she had left, we walked directly into her and had to make eye contact as we made our way out. LOL 

If I get the dress, great! If I don't that's okay too. I still got a good story out of it! So far... best moment of wedding preparation! Seriously though... this whole wedding preparation has been one tough lesson on learning to wait on God to provide, which He always does. Something the husband-to-be understands and lives out way better than me. Probably a good reason why he's the one standing beside me, because without him, I'd probably keep making rash decisions with our wedding planning based on what my circumstances around say I need... and not on what God says I need and will provide. Marriage is going to be very interesting ahead! 

Hump day Happenings...

Wow... I managed to let 2015 slip by without any posts... time to get back to writing.

For the past little while, I have been thinking about something... something to do with breaking up. Yes, it is true that in the midst of wedding planning and getting ready for marriage, I am still blogging about this. All I can say is that as we grow, we mature and as part of that maturing process, I reflect on past experiences. Enough justification of myself, onwards to what I have been thinking about. 

I have been thinking about posts that can only be correctly represented by pictures as seen below:

Ok... I totally understand that breakups hurt and they really suck, but is there really a need to destroy someone else? I know that some relationships really are not good for us in the first place and that there are people in abusive relationships where breaking up is much better for them than hanging on. Right now, I am not talking about those types of relationships. I am talking about those relationships where you both really did try, you both really did love and invest all of yourselves into it but still in the end one or both of you decided that this just was not the relationship for you and pulled the plug on the whole thing. 

Yes, I fully understand the need to be angry and feel all your feelings post break-up. We all have to mourn and grieve in our own ways, but can I just say that social media is not the place to vent and release those pent up emotions. Go cry it out with your closest friends, have a drink, punch a wall but for goodness sakes do NOT post all of those feelings on social media! I speak from experience and not just throwing random thoughts out there. 

Whenever I broke up with an ex-boyfriend, I totally wanted to post random hate messages on Facebook or blog, but what would that accomplish? Satisfaction at the sympathy of others? But at what cost? Sure, they might have left me in a mess of emotions I seemed unable to cope with but that doesn't make them a monster. I will not deny that to my closest girlfriends I spat out words about them that were not the kindest, but that was part of the grieving process and done privately. I don't believe heartache is a ticket for verbally abusing someone. God says so clearly in the Luke 6:27-29

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.

It's not easy to do... but I think it's good to keep this in mind. Especially when we are dealing with breakups in the church. God calls us to love enemies... hard words to live by. I really think that this is something we do not talk about enough. Not all relationships in the church work out and lead to marriage, sometimes relationships don't work out and you end up with two disappointed and hurt people... how can we encourage them to move on in a healthy way?

What I am trying to say is that, I do not think it is wise or loving to publicly declare you're ex as public enemy number 1 on social media to accumulate "likes" to make yourself feel like everyone is on your side. On the flip side, I also do not think that the announcement of having "gotten over someone" needs to be publicly declared. Maybe if you're still in high school these are completely acceptable behaviours... 

Anyways, in the end I still stand on what I've posted before in part one and also again in part two. I believe in breakups, as Christians our duty is still to act in love, and therefore forgiveness is a must no matter how hard. In the end, like I have said before, the only person who is stuck when you're holding a grudge is yourself, because no one holds that but you.