A couple of weeks ago I felt myself starting to shut down... the daily stress of work compounded by the stress of school demands for placement.... if I'm not at work... I'm stressing about work... if I'm not being over anxious about my children... I'm stressing about placement homework... I wake up in the middle of every night freaking out about various different things... so to cope with it I started to shut down... I didn't want to deal with the stress... and covered it up to the point where I was ready to break down big time.
No one ever explained that transition would be so hard... that when I packed up my stuff and got on a plane for Hong Kong that my life would change so dramatically in 5 years. I read this article the other day in Relevant Magazine. It's about having a "quarter-life crisis"... but I like point 2: It's more transition than quarter-life crisis. "You're saying goodbye to a season and, even more dramatically, waving goodbye to who you used to be."
Transition... puts things into a new perspective. I never realised that when I took a step in the direction of this new job at ICM that it would throw me into such a whirlwind of life. In the past 10 months (OMG, it's been 10 months already!) I have stopped going to 180 (Young Adults fellowship), PLUS (small group), met and started spending time with new friends, been on the fringe of leaving the Vine, finished placement #1 AND started placement #2... finished more classes on my way to finished this social work degree... dealt with some family drama... had one of the kids thrown in jail... been affirmed in this new place yet challenged to the point of doubt so regularly that sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
I can not say transition has been easy, I can't even say that I've enjoyed every step of it. What I CAN say is that I know that God has been walking with me each and every single step of the way. The season of equipment is slowly chugging it's way to it's end... there are 8 months left of school... 8!!! Three years have finally come down to the final 8 months! I'm transitioning from preparation to action... and I know ICM is simply a small step towards action. What's next only God knows... but I am comforted to know that I am no longer the same person that I used to be.
No one ever explained that transition would be so hard... that when I packed up my stuff and got on a plane for Hong Kong that my life would change so dramatically in 5 years. I read this article the other day in Relevant Magazine. It's about having a "quarter-life crisis"... but I like point 2: It's more transition than quarter-life crisis. "You're saying goodbye to a season and, even more dramatically, waving goodbye to who you used to be."
Transition... puts things into a new perspective. I never realised that when I took a step in the direction of this new job at ICM that it would throw me into such a whirlwind of life. In the past 10 months (OMG, it's been 10 months already!) I have stopped going to 180 (Young Adults fellowship), PLUS (small group), met and started spending time with new friends, been on the fringe of leaving the Vine, finished placement #1 AND started placement #2... finished more classes on my way to finished this social work degree... dealt with some family drama... had one of the kids thrown in jail... been affirmed in this new place yet challenged to the point of doubt so regularly that sometimes I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
I can not say transition has been easy, I can't even say that I've enjoyed every step of it. What I CAN say is that I know that God has been walking with me each and every single step of the way. The season of equipment is slowly chugging it's way to it's end... there are 8 months left of school... 8!!! Three years have finally come down to the final 8 months! I'm transitioning from preparation to action... and I know ICM is simply a small step towards action. What's next only God knows... but I am comforted to know that I am no longer the same person that I used to be.
