Advent Day 18, 19 and 20

I appear to be getting lazy... you know, it's really hard to find something to write about everyday!

Slept in on Saturday (Day 18)... and then went to work. We had a Christmas Party... lost my voice after talking (and perhaps some yelling and screaming)... Woke up with a crazy runny nose... finally took some medicine before the party started... and it got me through the 4 hours without me trying to blow off my nose. Then it was attempted Christmas shopping... before giving up and going back to 18/F to just do nothing.

Sunday (Day 19) woke up tired... went to 11:30 service... had some lunch, and then headed over the the Leung's for Bacon and Eggs + Friends Christmas celebration! Mmmm... turkey and other foods from Vikki followed by some intense gift exchange action... so much stealing. I think by the end... most of the gifts had been stolen at least once... (except my wine glasses... *sigh*) and most were no longer available to be stolen.

Now back to today... Monday (Day 20)... wow... I can't believe that it's only a couple more days until Christmas. It honestly doesn't feel like it... I haven't done much Christmas shopping... nor do I have much of a mood for Christmas shopping. What do you buy for people who already has everything that they need? Maybe I should just start making donations in people's names as presents... How often has Christmas presents just sat in your home without ever being touched or used? I think I've been struggling with this for the past... I don't know how many years. Don't get me wrong... I love getting presents... (and having not bought anything for the past... 4-5 months I've definitely developed a little list of wants...) but I can't seem to justify buying useless things for people that I really don't think they're going to use...

This is one of my biggest struggles... I really dislike buying junk for people... but that makes it hard to buy for people who buy everything for themselves... hahahaha... so my conclusion is that I don't buy gifts for people... :P Unless they've specifically asked for something... I think that is the best solution... :)

Advent Day 17

Sickness continues... with drinking my Chinese medicine at work... blech! So gross...

At least it's Friday today! Yay! And we have tickets to watch Harry Potter! :) I do have to work tomorrow though... but it's just a Christmas party, should be fun! It's always a pleasure to see all the kids from the centre out and about... being cute!

I'm happy about the cold weather... but at the same time not. hahaha... It's nice that it actually feels like winter, but without indoor heating... (and bad circulation on my part) it's just really hard to stay warm sometimes. For some reason it feels like cold air is coming into my room from somewhere, but I can't figure out from where... This cold air blowing on me while I sleep is not helping my recovery process...

This job always has been sitting on the fence between compassion and justice... on one hand I really want to help these people... but on the other, I really want to be fair. Have not yet reached a conclusion of some sort yet... still debating it in my head. Let's just say... arguing with someone yesterday... or sorry, trying to explain without raising my voice (which I couldn't actually physically do anyways...) made my throat hurt even worse when I finished work.

1 more hour... almost there... now back to my reports...

Advent Day 15 amd 16...

Bah!!! Still sick!! And it doesn't help that the temperatures have dropped below 10... but I will not let it drag me down... I will get better... (although I do feel that the Chinese medicine is making me feel worse than it is making me feel better...)

So yesterday I missed another day of blogging... as well as another day of work. *sigh* What I had hoped to be a day of rest became a day of running around from doctor to doctor... and didn't really get to sit and rest until 5... Although it was a nice highlight when Pyoo came back from BKK and stayed in HK instead of going straight back up to SZ. I wasn't much company... but it was nice just to have him there taking care of me.

Feeling thankful for all of the people God has placed around me (you know who you guys are!) Just thankful for their walking with me through so much stuff in the past 2 years... sorry, almost 3 years that I've been in HK! Such a huge blessing to have people around me who are willing to ask the tough questions, pray through the hard times, but also know how to have a good time! I don't think I could be where I am today without their support and encouragement and most importantly prayers!!! And even those who haven't been near distance-wise... just thankful to those who have stayed in touch and makes an effort to find out what I've been up to... or just to say hi and what not! Just so so thankful!

Am also very thankful for my family. Very grateful to God for putting my whole family back together in one place! It's been a blessing that I can't even describe... and just for such supportive parents! God takes very good care of me! So even when I am sick like this... I am reminded of how much it sucked to be sick like this while I was living by myself in Edmonton, and so glad that it's not like that anymore. :)

Sick... but in a good mood!

Advent Day 14

I should be working on some well... work... but I want to get this done first... :P It's almost lunch time anyways... and I'm HUNGRY!!! It's hard to concentrate when I'm hungry...

Have you ever had something weigh so heavy on your heart that you know that you won't be able to hear or see anything else until you submit in obedience to what God is calling you to do? That is how I am feeling right now... bah. I know I will not find peace... or that peace will not return until I listen and obey... So I shall... I shall...

God's word for me on the weekend was that I am a diamond. That is how God sees me... and not just any ordinary one... a very shiny, exquisite, and beautiful diamond. He came searching for me in the mines... But I'm no longer there, He has brought me out, cleaned me off, and cut me into the most beautiful diamond. He's polishing... and I wish to be so... I don't want to remain where I am now if God has more and better in store for me to become... Still processing all of the thoughts from the weekend... but I've started.

I want to get all this processing done... but this sickness is getting the best of me... and I still sound like a frog... :( Perhaps a visit to the doctor is required... *sigh*

Advent Days 10, 11, 12 and 13

Now I shall make up for being MIA for the past 4 days...

Day 10: Work Christmas Party at Disneyland Hotel... and then got into Disneyland for free, but we only stayed long enough to watch the Lion King Show... :P Then it was off to Tung Chung for dinner and then to board the bus for the 180 retreat. I have to admit, I wasn't too excited, since I woke up that morning with a sore throat and all...

Day 11 and 12: Some crazy 180 retreat action... all while trying to fight this dang sore throat. Even now... I sound like a frog. I'm gonna try my best to not talk at work today. (So far.. it's not really working.) Retreat was good... I always love being near oceans and mountains... even though being outside with the wind makes me more sick... :P Had some good chats with people, played some silly games, spent some time with God... etc. Still thinking over the words that were spoken over me by Karla about being a diamond. Perhaps that could be another blog entry later... Retreat ended... and we all returned to the Vine for the Christmas Pageant. Then it was a mad dash out to the airport for Pyoo to catch his flight to Bkk. Ok... it wasn't that much of a mad dash... it was more crazy getting our luggage out from the church or just getting out of church in general than it was trying to get out to the airport. Pyoo wasn't the last one on the plane... so we made good time. :)

Day 13: And here we are... all caught up. Well... only kind of. I totally didn't do justice for the retreat... but I really think I will save that for another day. Today I still woke up sounding like a frog... should probably see a doctor... but don't really feel like it. There's something I really want to let go of... but I'm not quite sure how to go about it at the moment. I think it is time... and I should delay it no more... but oh my goodness, I really don't want to. So with that said... I don't really have much to write about at the moment... just need to pray and think about this some more...

Advent Day 9

And day 9 began... with waking up with a crazy runny nose, and the decision to stay home as opposed to trying to fight the cold whilst at work... best decision ever! Instead of going to work... and then making myself more sick, I spent the day at home sleeping, and now I am feeling tonnes better!

I'm all packed... and ready for 180 retreat! And it's 10... and it's off to bed I go again! See ya'll in a couple of days after the retreat is over!

Advent Day 8

Here we are... day 8.

Been thinking about this all morning... well, not all morning, but for the past little bit. What is it in us as ladies that causes us to desire to be beautiful? Not only that, but desires for that beauty in us to be affirmed by those around us. You know, as women we hear a lot "Your affirmation needs to come from God and not from anything or anyone else." But I would like to raise a question, is it not Biblical?

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'" ~ Proverbs 31:28-29

I know he is not telling her that she is more beautiful than other women... but he does say that she is better than others.

"If you do not know, O most beautiful among women..." ~ Song of Solomon 1:8

Perhaps this is only okay within the context of marriage. Then again, maybe this shines a light onto why we desire to be "best" in the eyes of the one we love. There's always the argument that it is because of the curse from Genesis 3.

"Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." ~ Genesis 3:16b

I think I may just be digging a hole for myself at the moment. But I continue to dig... I wonder if this is all because we are God's creation, God sees us all as so, and therefore finds us all beautiful and lovable. Therefore, for us to be praised is actually bringing praise and glory to God because He is our maker. So our inner desire to be praised is actually built into us by God because it brings him delight when we praise His creation, which means we are praising Him!

I know that this has been so skewed in our minds... and we get in danger when we desire that praise for ourselves, and don't turn the glory back to God. But let's leave that whole thing for another day.

Please don't send me hate mail... these are just my thoughts. They're not solidly grounded in anything.

Advent Day 7

Got a lot of thoughts on my mind... but honestly, none of them are blog-worthy.

The weather's cooled off a lot this morning, it's nice. Starting to actually feel like December, perhaps... with the cold, it'll actually feel like Christmas is coming. Finished my Christmas cards... sorry to those of you who won't get one in the mail, I find myself getting lazier and lazier every year, the pack of cards I buy gets smaller and smaller... :P There's also the issue of not having addresses for a lot of people whom I wish to send a card to... My hand is a bit stiff and sore this morning from trying to finish all my cards last night. Now to get everything in the mail... I hope it all arrives on time... I'm cutting things a bit close this year... actually I think I do this every year.. :P

Was reading Proverbs 7 this morning... makes one think about the issue of sexual immorality... makes me think of all the news stands in Hong Kong that sells porn so shamelessly... and the alley I walk through every day in Chungking that's filled with this stuff... this stuff really is on every street corner... "at every corner she lies in wait." Solomon says the only way to keep from stumbling is to keep the Word of God in our hearts, to keep the teaching of God as "the apple of our eye." God must be our most desired, and we must know His word if we are to fight this fight... It's a hard fight, but it is not hopeless... "And if our God is for is then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us then what could stand against."

Advent Day 5 and 6... :P

So sad... I missed yesterday, but it could not be helped. I just didn't have time yesterday.

Anyways right now I just feel stupid... or just socially awkward. Francis Chan walked into our office this morning, and all I could do was stare. Hahaha... and after awkward staring from me, all I could say was "Hi!"... hahaha :P I feel like I met a celebrity... I wish I could've said what I want to say... oh well. Will just pray for him and his family, and God will speak to him. :)

To be very serious... all I can think about is Francis Chan... hahaha, we went to hear him speak on Crazy Love on Saturday, and then again on Sunday morning. This morning, I see him at work... so cool! Just been really blessed by the words that God speaks through him this past year.

Reflections wise... I think what he spoke about really tied in with what I wrote about a couple of days ago, about desire. God doesn't beg us to love him and worship him. Jesus paints for us a very real and blunt picture of what it means to follow God, and if we don't deem him worthy, then it is pointless for us to follow him. It all starts with whether we think he is worth, whether we think that he is worth more than anything else, and desire Him more than anything else in our lives.

Honestly, I really am still just in awe and shock. I know that it is because of some of things that I have received from listening to his podcasts that I have given up the bank to end up at this very job... that I heard God speak about pyoo... it's just so very very cool! I do pray that God will continue to bless him and his family as they continue to walk out His purpose for their lives. And that God will continue to bless their odedience to Him! :)

Even more so... I'm amused and in awe of God actually. Just so very very amused by the things he brings into my day, and the surprises that awaits me daily from Him... that reminds me of Him, what he's done in my life, and how much he loves me! He is soo soo good to me!

Okay... I guess I should also confess... one of the reasons I didn't have time to do my blog was because pyoo and I had to finish our Korean Drama watching... we finished watching our first ever korean dram together. Hahaha... it's nice to have someone to translate when the subtitles are really crap! Plus... it's helping me learn korean... so it was very useful and dare I saw beneficial to our relationship. :P Regardless, it was a good time, and I think sometimes the both of us just needs time to just sit and enjoy and do mindless activities. So I don't care... because I was enjoying quality time with pyoo!

Advent Day 4

Day 4...

Today I thought about focus.

"Let your eyes directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you." ~Proverbs 4:25

And then I thought about where I am heading. I read this today:

"But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until the full day." ~ Proverbs 4:18

And I really liked it... it was a good reminder that I am always in light, no matter how uncertain my future is. And as I walk out what God wants for me, I am always walking towards the light. As I walk closer and closer towards what God has in store for me.. as I walk out his plan and his path for me... the brighter and brighter it becomes... and the more and more it makes sense. As well... the closer I get to Him, which means the closer I am to living in the light of His glory. That's pretty awesome.

Been thinking about dreams alot.. and God's purposes and plans for my life. He's been reminding me a lot that this isn't it, and that he still has a lot more in store for me, and that he has big plans for me. My life is not meant to be insignificant... none of our lives are. It's so encouraging to know that God's hand over my life... but at the same time... what that encompasses is so large, so scary as well.

Excited... but scared out of my mind... :P

Advent Day 3

Alright... so begins day 3...

Oh no I didn't get a chance to finish this today... and it is now 2 in the morning... but since I have not gone to bed yet... this still counts... :P

I have nothing deep and profound today, but it's been a really good day. Learned a bit about myself... we had to do these personality tests for work and apparently I fall into the classic profile of a perfectionist. I actually thought that was really funny. The description actually seemed to fit me quite right. This I actually found really funny... because I thought it was just the Canadian in me... but perhaps, it's more than just that...

Courteous: The words "please" and "thank you" may be instinctive to you. Because basic decency and respect go a long way, such an approach is bound to help form a satisfying environment.

On other good news... short chat with a friend in New York this morning to test out a new iPhone app... soooo funny! Too bad I had to work, would've been nice to be able to catch up a bit more... but I'll call again... cause the new apps allows for FREE phone calls! Called another friend from home... and heard good news from her! Was sooo happy to hear her voice, and hear her so happy! I literally started jumping up and down with glee at pyoo's.... :P Oh and did I mention that Pyoo bought me flowers today?


Nothing from the Bible today... but today was a day for me... where God showed me through so many different channels that He is a good God... and that He loves me, and everyone else around me! :) Hope you all had a good day as well.

Advent Day 2

So in celebration of the Christmas season... I've decided to alternate between red and green... :)

Today let's talk about desire. So this past weekend I was on a mission's trip with pyoo and his Plus at the Agape Family Life House. While we were there, one of the songs we sang the most was 'My All in All"... in Mandarin of course. Hahaha... anyways, one of the lines to that song is:

"Seeking you as a precious jewel, Lord to give up I'd be a fool, you are my all in all"

In Proverbs 2 it says:

"if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."

But before this seeking can take place, before these words can be real in our lives, it must begin with a desire for God. Think of a time when you've really wanted something. Because I am a girl, for the sake of illustration purposes, I will use shoes. I love shoes, and sometimes when I see a pair of shoes that I really like it really sucks when they come back and tell you, "sorry miss, we don't have your size." Then begins a search of different shoe shops that may sell the same pair of shoes, but in my size... A couple of months ago, while I was on such a search for a certain pair of shoes, it hit me. Shouldn't I search for God with that same desire and passion? If I am willing to search high and low for a pair of shoes, should my God not get the same from me if not more than that?

So before even the searching begins, the thought for today is, do I have that desire and thirst for God? Is there such a strong desire within me for my God that I would search high and low until I find Him? I think there is no point for me to even go searching for Him, if I don't desire Him in that way... because unless I desire in that way, I will not search for it the way it talks about searching for it in Proverbs. So today I will learn to desire more hungrily for my God!

Advent Day 1

So I don't even know who reads this blog anymore... but for December, I've decided to try and do an entry a day, as my own advent calendar. We'll see how this goes.

So my thoughts on Advent day 1 begins...

Repent. That was what was resounding through my head as I fell asleep... or perhaps, it was Mark Driscoll's voice as I fell asleep listening to his podcast. Not to say that the podcast was bad... but it was 1 in the morning, and I was tired! It was in reality, blunt and right in the face as usual, and I wanted very badly to listen to all of it, but just did not have the energy... plus the podcast goes on for 1 hour and 20 mins!!! Regardless, that was one of the things that I was thinking of as I fell into deep deep slumber...

This morning I read this:
"If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you;
I will make my words known to you." ~ Proverbs 1:23

I think God's thoughts for me this morning was very simple... as the advent season begins, as I begin this countdown towards the celebration of His Son's birth, it must begin with repentence. As I start this journey to meeting Him in a new way this Christmas season, I must repent before I may experience the Spirit in a new way, and gain a new understanding of His Word. Today I will repent.

reset... restart... refill... refresh... here it comes!

The man declares, I am weary, O God;
I am weary, O God, and worn out.
2Surely I am too stupid to be a man.
I have not the understanding of a man.
3I have not learned wisdom,
nor have I knowledge of the Holy One.
4Who has ascended to heaven and come down?
Who has gathered the wind in his fists?
Who has wrapped up the waters in a garment?
Who has established all the ends of the earth?
What is his name, and what is his son’s name?
Surely you know! ~ Proverbs 30:1b-4

This is what I woke up to… not even a joke. I am so tired… and I feel so stupid, or just confused, but God is bigger than that. God’s knowledge and wisdom is bigger and beyond my human understanding. So instead of trying to trust in my own ways, my own understandings, my own knowledge… I just need to trust in God. So I told God that I was sorry for trying to take care of my circumstances on my own strength, for trying to do what should only be done by Him. Then I asked for more faith, more love and more hope so that I may persevere, not in my own strength, but on His strength.

the Proverbs 31 woman...

"Faith in God that sees beyond present bitter setbacks. Freedom from the securities and comforts of the world. Courage to venture into the unknown and the strange. Radical commitment in the relationships appointed by God. This is the woman of Proverbs 31:25 who looks into the future with confidence in God and laughs at the coming troubles: 'Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.'" ~ John Piper



I strive... oh I strive... but alas I still fall so short of becoming her. But I desire... and I know that I have set my eyes on becoming what God wants for me... so He will make it possible. Ladies... it is not hopeless! He will bring the strength it requires to become the woman of God that He calls us to be! Just hang on!

red carpet treatment...

I was having a conversation with someone last weekend, and they made a comment that I really liked. It went something like this... "Sometimes I wish that God would just roll out a red carpet in the direction that He wishes me to go, so that I just need to walk down the carpet."

After I heard that... I said "I know exactly what you mean. Please tell me when that happens!"

Hahaha... oh how I wish that God would just roll out the red carpet for me, so that I don't have to spend all this time wondering if I am going the right way... or walking around directionless looking for a direction to go in... I think it would just make life so much easier in so many ways. Then as I was thinking about this... this verse came to mind:

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." ~ Matthew 7:13-14

It reminds me that although my path seems hard at times... and most of the time it doesn't even make sense to me... I know that it is the path that leads to life. I've told God time and time again that I don't just want to live a status quo life for Him. I've told him that I don't want to live the easy and comfortable life... I said that He could dictate my life as He pleases, and that if He calls, I will follow.

This is my encouragement. When times are tough, I know that they are not in vain. It is an answer to my prayers... He is simply answering my prayer to help me live a life that is pleasing to Him. He is leading me towards a life that is led by His Spirit and not what the world tells me. I said that I would not live by the expectations of the world, but only by the expectations of God... so here I am. Living a life that doesn't quite make sense to any around me... and to be completely honest, there are some days when it doesn't even make much sense to me.

This really encouraged me the other day:

"Having faith means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives makes sense to unbelievers." ~ Francis Chan in Crazy Love

Haha... giving up my bank job in risk management doesn't make sense... not when they were about to give me a permanent job with a pay rise and promotion... or when I was on track to fulfill my dream of getting into a better job within risk management either... Taking up a job as a PA in a Christian non-profit... which some may say I am overqualified to be a PA (Personal Assistant) makes no sense... but I trust that this is God's plan for me. He has brought me to this place at this time for a reason, so I will continue to do my best to be a light to wherever it is that He brings me to.

Just to be completely honest... there are still moments when I wish God would just give me the red carpet treatment, and just roll out the carpet towards the exact place He wishes for me to end up. Hahhaa... but then I guess Jesus didn't arrive on Earth with red carpet treatment either, did He?! Oh.... I have much to learn about humility... ouch.

On Comparison

Asian is the name, and Comparison is the game. I don't know about you, but growing up, this was what life was all about. These were some phrases that I remember hearing the most often from my parents, esp my mom:

"Why can't you be like (fill in names of parents' friends' children)."

"You know your brother did (fill in name of good deed) the other day. Why can't you be more like that?"
And mind you... my brother is younger than me!

"You used to be (fill in name of good trait). What happened to you?"

So if that is how I grew up... always and constantly being compared to other chilren around me, to my brother... and even to my old self, how am I suppose to not expect that I am still always being compared by everyone else in my life. This was obviously true when we're in school and at work. You performance at school is definitely based on how you do in relation with the other students in your class, as well as the other students within your grade. At work, your evalution is based on how well you work with relation to all the other members on your team.

BUT... and now this is a big but... I met God, and God does not say "You know so and so does this. Why can't you be more like them?" This is what my God says:

"Namely, the righteousness of God which comes by believing with personal trust and confident reliance on Jesus Christ (the Messiah). [And it is meant] for all who believe. For there is no distinction, Since all have sinned and are falling short of the honor and glory which God bestows and receives. [All] are justified and made upright and in right standing with God, freely and gratuitously by His grace (His unmerited favor and mercy), through the redemption which is [provided] in Christ Jesus," (Romans 3:22-24)

ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, and by His Son, we are ALL made righteous. God doesn't sit there and ask me why I'm not more like Jesus. He gives me the Holy Spirit, and beckons me to come closer to Him. As I draw near to God, as I learn more of His heart, His Spirit living in me naturally responds. As that Spirit responds to God's love for me and for His world, the words and actions which result are naturally Jesus-like. As we allow the His Spirit to lead our lives... we will naturally become more Christ-like as Christ Himself also relied on that same Spirit.

God doesn't compare us to other Christians, other non Christians, to Jesus. We must all hold account to our own actions, it's all between us and God. We are saved not by our deeds, but by our faith in Him. I can't do anymore, so that He will love me more. He always pours out His love in abundance for me. He doesn't love someone else more because they serve in more ministries than I do. He doesn't love someone else more because they give more money to the church than I do. Jesus made that very clear in the New Testament that God looks at our hearts and not at our works.

This is something I've known for a long time. I've done the Bible studies... I've heard the sermons... I've given the advice... but maybe this is a fact which has not yet become true in my heart. I have a hard time comtemplating this about God... I'm learning that I don't fully understand or believe in this. Growing up... comparison became competition. When I came to fully understand comparison, the desire of my heart was to compete with everyone else to gain affection from my parents. If I could not rise to the top of "the list" then my parents will not love me. I'm not saying that they do not love me, or are not proud of me... but this is how I came to understand what makes them proud, and what makes them love me.

To dispell this belief that life is a competition... it is hard. It's a deeply rooted tree that will be very hard to cut down. It's a belief that runs deep into the core of who I am, but I know that God is trying to cut down this tree. He wants me to understand that He does not measure my worth based on what I do and how much I do. He love for me is unconditional... nothing changes it. Nothing increases it, and nothing decreases it. I don't always be perfect, because God already knows that I will never be perfect. If I misbehave, He will not throw me out of the house as a punishment, He will not yell at me in His anger and frustration, He will not ignore me because He is angry at me. He may gently scold me, He may rebuke me, but He will never do these things in anger or frustration.

I'll be honest... this love is hard for me to understand. I've only know rebuke and punishment in anger and frustration. I'm not saying my parents are bad parents... but that is all I know from them growing up. The asian way is to "encourage" their kids to excel or do better by provoking the competitive nature within them. Yet, this is not true in God terms... we are ALL the SAME. There is no competition... there is no comparison. He loves us all the same... the same amount... in the same way. He sees us as all the same... God doesn't use competition to push us to be better people, He uses love, He leads by example. To God... it's all about love. "Love covers over a multitude of sins."

This will be a hard lesson... but it shall be a good one. :)

remember to take the time to smell the daisies!

flowers: someone mentioned "take time to smell the roses" the other morning. So I took the idea and ran with it...

This is what resulted: buying flowers for all the ladies in the office.

The response: A lot of why's and where did the flowers come from? Which was accompanied by smiles all around. :) Hahaha... Why? Because I wanted to. Where did they come from? I bought them!

I didn't do it for gratitude, or even the smiles on the their faces... while a little bit for that. I did it mainly because I've come to realize, young or old, ladies love flowers. Well... maybe not... but I like to think that flowers brighten up our days... and it entices something in our hearts as women. There is a sense of appreciation that lights up in the heart when women receives flowers... there is a sense that they've been thought about... I don't quite know how to explain it, but that's why I did it. To let each of the ladies in the office know that they've been thought of and are appreciated for who they are and what they do. Ultimately my goal is that they will know that their Father in heaven loves them, and is thinking of them and appreciates and loves them for who they are and delights in all that they do!

My job is really simply to be obedient and do as God asks. The rest... the spiritual part... that I leave in God's hands.

what's next has arrived...

hmmm... so it's been a very crazy 2 weeks :P

So, those of you who were at 180 about 2 weeks ago, would've heard me share about my situation. (For those who missed it... you'll definitely have to download the podcast of Lance!) Anyways... so during ministry time, I just really felt God prompting me to go grab the mic and share. To tell them that sometimes God asks you to give up things without giving anything in return, and you're simply left waiting on Him. There is no certainty of what will come next, or even when that will come... but even in that it is good, it just takes an extra measure to faith to believe that He has an amazing plan, and that it WILL come to pass. Then to explain, that was exactly where I was.

If you haven't talked to me in awhile, or been following my blog, God asked me to give up my job at the end of last year. Long story short, He asked me to give up my job and to follow my heart... which ultimately means to follow Him. At the time, I felt the desire to go back to school and do a degree in Social Work (I still have that desire!). It didn't matter that when I quit in January, I would not have an acceptance into school yet, I just knew that regardless of whether I got in or not God had something better than HSBC for me. So I took that plunge and quit my job. So began my period of waiting on God.

My last post was about how I didn't get in, and that was basically what I shared at 180. I followed God... and then I didn't get into school and I had no idea what I would be doing now. After my sharing, someone basically came over and offered me an employment opportunity. I prayed about it... tried for it, and now I will be starting work on Monday! (If you want to know the full story, just ask! It's more fun to share that way!)

God has blown my mind once again... and I am left speechless in awe of Him... He is soo soo good! I am a little nervous about working again... because unemployment has been really really nice... but I'm also excited for what God will be showing me at my new job! :)

sidenote: 2 more weeks to New York!!!

So the answer was no...

Hmm... so I guess it's about time I sent out the latest update. The irony of it is that right after my last post, where I decided I was gonna "name it and claim it" I got the email from HKU rejecting my application. So... I didn't get in.

So how am I feeling? Confused, disappointed, maybe a tinge of anger, but mainly just more confusion. I wasn't kidding when I said that I had no plan B... because I trusted that this was what God had in store for me. I still trust that God has an even better plan A for me than me going back to school. :)

What now? Don't ask... because I honestly don't know. Waiting on God for the next step of action. At the moment I will continue to pray and seek Him... at the same time... prepare for New York... in less than one month! EEK!!!

Gonna hang on to God's promises over my life... because they are amazing... and they're gonna blow my mind! Plus... it's like the best way to live life... well... it definitely keeps me on the edge of my seat. hahaha... it's not the easiest... because the always not knowing and waiting gets to me sometimes, but the end result has always been better than I could have planned for myself!

So that's that... my quick update for now. :)