2012... was one tough year! There is no doubt on that one. Brought in the year in Shanghai... with like 16 other people. It was pretty fun. No birthday celebration last year since my grandmother went into ICU that morning... and all festivities were cancelled on her behalf... she is still alive and doing well now. The semester was really hard... small group teaching for skills lab was... trying on my patience and put my Chinese skills to the test like never before. It seriously made me want to quit school. Lost my job at the end of March, but still had to finish another month of work before I could leave... worst month of my life (well... I think that's up for debate...) but right after they gave me my "one month's notice" I took off to Korea for a couple of days. Saw the cherry blossoms.... that was AWESOME! Actually, most of that trip was pretty amazing. It was a nice break after having a really crap week because of work.
After I lost my job, that freed me to frolic around Australia with my 2 ladies from Edmonton. Cleaned out a good chunk of my savings... before coming back to begin Placement. Once again putting my Chinese to the test... not only in language this time, but culturally as well. I look back... and I enjoyed the youth and some of the workers there... but I don't think I could ever work there as staff.... not that I think they'd hire me anyways. My supervisor made it pretty clear in her evaluation that she thought I was an incompetent worker.
Took it easy for about 6 months... chilled with friends, met some new people... built up relationships with others. Placement... class... and life... Had a dream come to life... but then it hit stalemate again... and right now it might be happening again. Finally, out of a nowhere, a job comes at me. And after letting it go and thinking the job shouldn't be mine... God gives me the job. After a weekend of crying.... and then a meeting with my current boss... I take the job with a peace of mind. Looking back... God broke my heart for these children even before I took the job. But with the start of work... it meant I ended the year feeling the most alone I have ever felt in my life. With work, placement and class... there was no time for much else.
So many times this past year.... my dreams have been challenged. The plans that God had given me were challenged... and so many times I wondered if I had heard wrong. So many times I wondered if I had walked down the wrong road yet again... and so so so many times I wanted to just throw in the towel. Each time I had been discouraged, God sent just the right encouragement to let me know that I need to keep going.
After 2012... all the tears, the frustrations, the bursts of anger, my moments of despair, the heartbreaks, moments of utter confusion... I've entered 2013 thinking that God has made me come alive. 2011 was a year of planting, and 2012 was my year in the soil.... and 2013 is the year where I've made it through the dirt and is now surfacing with growth! And the prophecy is that it's going to be a big tree! This is a new season, and God is growing my life into a new tree. The old has gone... and this will be something new.
Right now... I'm doing well. I love my job. I love the children... the love the community... I love my partners in service... and I love the nature of my job! Honestly I couldn't have found a better job myself... and through this job, my world is shrinking but at the same time... all things are falling into place as they should. This job even managed to tie itself to the dream that I thought was coming alive... but then didn't happen... and now might happen again. That's one crazy story... and not blog material. Ask me if you want to know. I believe that this job will springboard me into all the other things that God and I have been dreaming for since I've returned back to Hong Kong in 2008.
The last 6 weeks or so (since 2013 has started) have been DANG interesting... but I'm excited for all that this is leading me into! There are times were I still feel so incredibly alone on this journey... and unsupported by my church community (cause sometimes I don't think anyone understands what I am doing)... but in times like these, He has brought me new friends who walk with me and support me... it's a good support... but it's not the best. Hahaha... and so at the moment I am praying to God for my support system in this next season of my journey.
(side note: with the new season, it was only proper to do with a new layout!)
To finish off... I think this song summarises how I feel so well... ENJOY! :)
