I was having a conversation with someone last weekend, and they made a comment that I really liked. It went something like this... "Sometimes I wish that God would just roll out a red carpet in the direction that He wishes me to go, so that I just need to walk down the carpet."
After I heard that... I said "I know exactly what you mean. Please tell me when that happens!"
Hahaha... oh how I wish that God would just roll out the red carpet for me, so that I don't have to spend all this time wondering if I am going the right way... or walking around directionless looking for a direction to go in... I think it would just make life so much easier in so many ways. Then as I was thinking about this... this verse came to mind:
"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." ~ Matthew 7:13-14
It reminds me that although my path seems hard at times... and most of the time it doesn't even make sense to me... I know that it is the path that leads to life. I've told God time and time again that I don't just want to live a status quo life for Him. I've told him that I don't want to live the easy and comfortable life... I said that He could dictate my life as He pleases, and that if He calls, I will follow.
This is my encouragement. When times are tough, I know that they are not in vain. It is an answer to my prayers... He is simply answering my prayer to help me live a life that is pleasing to Him. He is leading me towards a life that is led by His Spirit and not what the world tells me. I said that I would not live by the expectations of the world, but only by the expectations of God... so here I am. Living a life that doesn't quite make sense to any around me... and to be completely honest, there are some days when it doesn't even make much sense to me.
This really encouraged me the other day:
"Having faith means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives makes sense to unbelievers." ~ Francis Chan in Crazy Love
Haha... giving up my bank job in risk management doesn't make sense... not when they were about to give me a permanent job with a pay rise and promotion... or when I was on track to fulfill my dream of getting into a better job within risk management either... Taking up a job as a PA in a Christian non-profit... which some may say I am overqualified to be a PA (Personal Assistant) makes no sense... but I trust that this is God's plan for me. He has brought me to this place at this time for a reason, so I will continue to do my best to be a light to wherever it is that He brings me to.
Just to be completely honest... there are still moments when I wish God would just give me the red carpet treatment, and just roll out the carpet towards the exact place He wishes for me to end up. Hahhaa... but then I guess Jesus didn't arrive on Earth with red carpet treatment either, did He?! Oh.... I have much to learn about humility... ouch.
21 Sept 2010
14 Sept 2010
On Comparison
Asian is the name, and Comparison is the game. I don't know about you, but growing up, this was what life was all about. These were some phrases that I remember hearing the most often from my parents, esp my mom:
"Why can't you be like (fill in names of parents' friends' children)."
"You know your brother did (fill in name of good deed) the other day. Why can't you be more like that?"
And mind you... my brother is younger than me!
"You used to be (fill in name of good trait). What happened to you?"
So if that is how I grew up... always and constantly being compared to other chilren around me, to my brother... and even to my old self, how am I suppose to not expect that I am still always being compared by everyone else in my life. This was obviously true when we're in school and at work. You performance at school is definitely based on how you do in relation with the other students in your class, as well as the other students within your grade. At work, your evalution is based on how well you work with relation to all the other members on your team.
BUT... and now this is a big but... I met God, and God does not say "You know so and so does this. Why can't you be more like them?" This is what my God says:
"Namely, the righteousness of God which comes by believing with personal trust and confident reliance on Jesus Christ (the Messiah). [And it is meant] for all who believe. For there is no distinction, Since all have sinned and are falling short of the honor and glory which God bestows and receives. [All] are justified and made upright and in right standing with God, freely and gratuitously by His grace (His unmerited favor and mercy), through the redemption which is [provided] in Christ Jesus," (Romans 3:22-24)
ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, and by His Son, we are ALL made righteous. God doesn't sit there and ask me why I'm not more like Jesus. He gives me the Holy Spirit, and beckons me to come closer to Him. As I draw near to God, as I learn more of His heart, His Spirit living in me naturally responds. As that Spirit responds to God's love for me and for His world, the words and actions which result are naturally Jesus-like. As we allow the His Spirit to lead our lives... we will naturally become more Christ-like as Christ Himself also relied on that same Spirit.
God doesn't compare us to other Christians, other non Christians, to Jesus. We must all hold account to our own actions, it's all between us and God. We are saved not by our deeds, but by our faith in Him. I can't do anymore, so that He will love me more. He always pours out His love in abundance for me. He doesn't love someone else more because they serve in more ministries than I do. He doesn't love someone else more because they give more money to the church than I do. Jesus made that very clear in the New Testament that God looks at our hearts and not at our works.
This is something I've known for a long time. I've done the Bible studies... I've heard the sermons... I've given the advice... but maybe this is a fact which has not yet become true in my heart. I have a hard time comtemplating this about God... I'm learning that I don't fully understand or believe in this. Growing up... comparison became competition. When I came to fully understand comparison, the desire of my heart was to compete with everyone else to gain affection from my parents. If I could not rise to the top of "the list" then my parents will not love me. I'm not saying that they do not love me, or are not proud of me... but this is how I came to understand what makes them proud, and what makes them love me.
To dispell this belief that life is a competition... it is hard. It's a deeply rooted tree that will be very hard to cut down. It's a belief that runs deep into the core of who I am, but I know that God is trying to cut down this tree. He wants me to understand that He does not measure my worth based on what I do and how much I do. He love for me is unconditional... nothing changes it. Nothing increases it, and nothing decreases it. I don't always be perfect, because God already knows that I will never be perfect. If I misbehave, He will not throw me out of the house as a punishment, He will not yell at me in His anger and frustration, He will not ignore me because He is angry at me. He may gently scold me, He may rebuke me, but He will never do these things in anger or frustration.
I'll be honest... this love is hard for me to understand. I've only know rebuke and punishment in anger and frustration. I'm not saying my parents are bad parents... but that is all I know from them growing up. The asian way is to "encourage" their kids to excel or do better by provoking the competitive nature within them. Yet, this is not true in God terms... we are ALL the SAME. There is no competition... there is no comparison. He loves us all the same... the same amount... in the same way. He sees us as all the same... God doesn't use competition to push us to be better people, He uses love, He leads by example. To God... it's all about love. "Love covers over a multitude of sins."
This will be a hard lesson... but it shall be a good one. :)
"Why can't you be like (fill in names of parents' friends' children)."
"You know your brother did (fill in name of good deed) the other day. Why can't you be more like that?"
And mind you... my brother is younger than me!
"You used to be (fill in name of good trait). What happened to you?"
So if that is how I grew up... always and constantly being compared to other chilren around me, to my brother... and even to my old self, how am I suppose to not expect that I am still always being compared by everyone else in my life. This was obviously true when we're in school and at work. You performance at school is definitely based on how you do in relation with the other students in your class, as well as the other students within your grade. At work, your evalution is based on how well you work with relation to all the other members on your team.
BUT... and now this is a big but... I met God, and God does not say "You know so and so does this. Why can't you be more like them?" This is what my God says:
"Namely, the righteousness of God which comes by believing with personal trust and confident reliance on Jesus Christ (the Messiah). [And it is meant] for all who believe. For there is no distinction, Since all have sinned and are falling short of the honor and glory which God bestows and receives. [All] are justified and made upright and in right standing with God, freely and gratuitously by His grace (His unmerited favor and mercy), through the redemption which is [provided] in Christ Jesus," (Romans 3:22-24)
ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, and by His Son, we are ALL made righteous. God doesn't sit there and ask me why I'm not more like Jesus. He gives me the Holy Spirit, and beckons me to come closer to Him. As I draw near to God, as I learn more of His heart, His Spirit living in me naturally responds. As that Spirit responds to God's love for me and for His world, the words and actions which result are naturally Jesus-like. As we allow the His Spirit to lead our lives... we will naturally become more Christ-like as Christ Himself also relied on that same Spirit.
God doesn't compare us to other Christians, other non Christians, to Jesus. We must all hold account to our own actions, it's all between us and God. We are saved not by our deeds, but by our faith in Him. I can't do anymore, so that He will love me more. He always pours out His love in abundance for me. He doesn't love someone else more because they serve in more ministries than I do. He doesn't love someone else more because they give more money to the church than I do. Jesus made that very clear in the New Testament that God looks at our hearts and not at our works.
This is something I've known for a long time. I've done the Bible studies... I've heard the sermons... I've given the advice... but maybe this is a fact which has not yet become true in my heart. I have a hard time comtemplating this about God... I'm learning that I don't fully understand or believe in this. Growing up... comparison became competition. When I came to fully understand comparison, the desire of my heart was to compete with everyone else to gain affection from my parents. If I could not rise to the top of "the list" then my parents will not love me. I'm not saying that they do not love me, or are not proud of me... but this is how I came to understand what makes them proud, and what makes them love me.
To dispell this belief that life is a competition... it is hard. It's a deeply rooted tree that will be very hard to cut down. It's a belief that runs deep into the core of who I am, but I know that God is trying to cut down this tree. He wants me to understand that He does not measure my worth based on what I do and how much I do. He love for me is unconditional... nothing changes it. Nothing increases it, and nothing decreases it. I don't always be perfect, because God already knows that I will never be perfect. If I misbehave, He will not throw me out of the house as a punishment, He will not yell at me in His anger and frustration, He will not ignore me because He is angry at me. He may gently scold me, He may rebuke me, but He will never do these things in anger or frustration.
I'll be honest... this love is hard for me to understand. I've only know rebuke and punishment in anger and frustration. I'm not saying my parents are bad parents... but that is all I know from them growing up. The asian way is to "encourage" their kids to excel or do better by provoking the competitive nature within them. Yet, this is not true in God terms... we are ALL the SAME. There is no competition... there is no comparison. He loves us all the same... the same amount... in the same way. He sees us as all the same... God doesn't use competition to push us to be better people, He uses love, He leads by example. To God... it's all about love. "Love covers over a multitude of sins."
This will be a hard lesson... but it shall be a good one. :)
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