"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
So in the past little while, God has really made this verse come to life. He has shown me what it means to live out this verse... in the area of relationships.... or to be more specific in a boy. :P
Let's back track. So growing up in church, having read most of the popular "Christian dating literature"... I was taught early on that I needed to have "a list." I was taught that in order to keep from compromising or worse yet.. "settling" I needed to determine early on all the characteristics that should be desired in my future husband. So like most girls, I too had a list. A couple of years ago... well.. in the aftermath of my last serious relationship, I pulled out the list and riped it up. I don't remember what induced me to do that... but I remember that moment very distinctly. I pulled out the list, riped it to shreads, and told God I'm tired of handing him a check list and praying for a check list. I basically told God that since He knows me best, then He will know and understand exactly what it is that I need, and I'm gonna stop telling Him how to do his job. So that night, I handed the daunting task of finding "the one" into God's hands. I don't think I had any idea what I had just gotten myself into with God...
Now, I don't want to paint a flowery picture of how everything works out just because you hand over this area of your life to God. That is not how life works. I struggled just like every normal girl in the limbo of wanting to give God complete control and wanting to take things into my own hands. I still made mistakes, and I still made poor choices. I still gave away parts of my heart that I probably shouldn't have, crossed boundaries that I shouldn't have... struggled with finding my identity in Christ as opposed to finding it in a significant other. If anything, letting God have complete control, the struggles of insecurity and loneliness only seemed to increase.
So in the past little while, while I have been trying to lay everything down before God, learning to find God in EVERYTHING, learning to praise God in the good and the bad... and learning that He IS everything and that He is IN everything as well; God has been orchestrating a story that has completely blown me outta the water. I've been given full permission to blog about this from Paul (and shall be known as Pyoo from henceforth), so I shall.
So Pyoo (whom I affectionately has described as "self proclaimed best friend" to those at home) and I found ourselves in a place where we needed to DTR (define the relationship). Well, after a rollar coaster ride of emotions and confusion after a certain event which I have kindly named "Pyoo's dropping of the A-bomb"... we had a talk. During the talk we acknowledged that there seemed to be a little bit more than just friendship brewing, but we wanted to have God's full blessings before proceeding with anything. We saw that God had really placed similar burdens/passions on our hearts, and callings which were also very similar. One thing that really stuck out to me that night was that we really felt that God was calling us to travel the road less travelled.... but we weren't sure if that meant we were gonna travel that road together. So began the journey to praying for God's confirmation that this relationship was part of His plan, and that He was gonna bring us together in marriage.
For me, God had already given me my Bible passage of confirmation. So in the past month, I simply watched that passage come to life in Pyoo, and in our friendship. (2 Corinthians 1:20-21) Along with more passages and confirmations from God, He really gave me peace in my heart. In this time... in many many funny ways from God that probably only I would understand, I got my answer. I also learned that we girls really do have it easy. :) With God's peace, I was okay with waiting for the most part... I had my impatient moments... :P I wasn't really allowed to say anything about what God had spoken or revealed... and had to wait silently for Pyoo to hear from God. So on Halloween, God spoke... and so begins the next phase of this journey together, with full confidence that this journey leads to marriage... but more importantly an eternity in heaven with God. In the mean time, while on earth, we've been given the honour of walking this journey together... and that's pretty exciting!
I could have never ended up here on my own... and we could never have ended up here on our own without God. It was God who orchestrated every single part of this friendship and now relationship... and it was definitely Him who brought us together. Hahahaha... let's just say that if God hadn't intervened, I'd still be trying to run away from Pyoo.... :P
