My 2 worlds have collided lately... with the influx of visitors... and to be honest, it feels rather strange. When I left Edmonton 8 months ago, I didn't think very far ahead. A part of me simply saw Hong Kong as an escape, because in my tunnel vision, I had but one thing on my mind. I needed to get outta Edmonton. I needed to be gone from there... for my sanity's sake! So upon arrival... I made a decision to leave behind the "old me" and start fresh... and one of those things was to stop introducing myself as Cel (pronounced Cil.) This name of mine, is what leads me to this blog entry...
I've been known as Cel for so long now... my family calls me by that name! Call my house and ask for Cel... and you shall get me... (most of the time... given you get the right number and that my family can hear you... hahahaha :P) With the influx of visitors and hearing my friends call me that once again.. (not just online, or in emails but outloud) it feels nice. It's familiar... and it feels right. hahaha... Cece (with the Chinese accent) or Cec... or Ce... is not. They are honestly very foreign and strange sounding to me... sometimes I think to myself... "That's not my name... I have a nickname, I don't need a new one..."
Anyways, that's still not the point. The point is that I can't run away from myself. I can't pretend that a part of me doesn't exist. Haha.. trust me, I've tried pretty hard. The truth is that, everything I've tried to leave behind is a part of me. Always has and always will be. Me going by another name, doesn't make me a different person. :P I'm slowly learning to embrace everything for what it is... part of God's plan for my life. Ultimately it will all be used for His glory. Yes, there are parts that were painful.. and events that I'd rather pretend like they didn't exist in my story... but they do. All these things combined, is what makes it MY story and no one elses.
God is so gracious and compassionate... and as I learn to embrace all that he's given me.. good AND bad... I know that greater things are yet to come! :)
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other." ~ Ecclesiastes 7:14a
