end of the road...

i can't believe that this will be the last time that i will sit here writing this... and that was the last time i will be driving into this driveway... and be coming home like this. it's really just starting to hit me that once i get on the plane tomorrow, the next time i come "home" there won't be this house to come home to. my room won't be upstairs... well it will be, but it won't be mine anymore. my stuff will not be here... there will be no more hanging out here, no more bbqs, no more parties... it's honestly all just starting to hit me. i think i need a moment to absorb it all.
i can't believe that this is really happening... and that this won't be here next time i'm back. i think i need more than a moment... this is so strange... and i can't wrap my head around it all. i know that this will be good for me, and this is an amazing opportunity and it's not something that happens everyday, but it's all just happening so fast. i feel like i didn't even get to say my farewells properly... well some did... and some did not. hahaha... i call it an uneven distribution of time....
this year is going fly by... we shall see what happens when it is all over. right now i'm just in shock i think... i shall go take my moment and enjoy my last hours in this house... because it will never be the same again...

scared stiff...

it's that time... in my decision making where i start second guessing myself as usual. OH MY GOODNESS!!! What am i doing?!??! I'm really doing this.... I'm packing up my stuff and moving to HK... I dunno... it's just insane. can someone please tell me what i'm doing? and tell me that i'm not making the biggest mistake of my life... cause i'm really starting to wonder if i'm doing the right thing... i am so scared right now.
But God opened the door, so there has to be a reason that I'm going through it right? I mean I asked for a door... and it came... so the only logical thing was to walk through it. And now that it's starting to sink in... I'm starting to get scared... and starting to get sad thinking about all the things I'm going to miss.
I think i'm getting cold feet that's all. I didn't think that God would open such a door... I thought I'd move to Vancouver... be "closer" to HK in a sense, but still be able to enjoy the comforts of Canada... maybe i was being too greedy. I need to accept what God has given and be thankful. So I will make the most of this... and I'm sure that God has His reasons for taking me so far away from all of my closest friends...
Well... I hope it all turns out okay... because right now I'm still feeling like I've lost my mind...

finally! an open door!!!

there's finally an open door for me to step through! i can finally leave this city! yay! someone has finally given me a chance at a job in the hk! so i'm getting back on a plane and going back to hk. i'll be gone by the end of this month!

i've finally found a break in the clouds. i can finally leave all this crap behind and hopefully start to fully heal. i've been waiting to get away for a long time, and my opportunity has finally come!