what is it that God wants from me? where is it that i'm suppose to go? what is it that i am to do? i'm tired of trying to be patient, and i'm tired of being on my own. don't pretend like you know or understand, because you don't. you don't know the frustrations i go through everyday, you don't understand my anger and confusion.
i try to turn to God, but everytime i get near, i feel the need to pull away. i want to feel the comfort of God's hand in my life, but i find myself turning to worldly things instead. i'm trying to hear God's voice, but i feel like everything else in my life drowns it out. i can't hear it. i feel like i keep knocking on His door, and He's just ignoring me. do you understand what that feels like? to stand there and wait, and wait, and wait, but He doesn't come, and He doesn't answer.
i think 2 years ago, a small part of me died, and i haven't been the same since. lately the memories have been haunting me, and certain fears have returned. it makes me want to run, to run away and never come back. to go where no one knows me, where no one even knows my name. to be alone, and leave it all behind.
~I called, You answered
And You came to my rescue
And I want to be where You are~
i've called...but where is the answer? God where are you?
